No matter where you go, we are constantly told that Cheryl Cole is the nation?s sweetheart. Newspapers convey this to us and even the butcher will inform you as he's tenderising a turkey’s face.
It seems that if you release a couple of pop songs, smack a toilet attendant in the face and catch malaria, you\’ll capture the hearts of the country. She is basically Princess Diana 2.0.
On the other side of the coin is Kerry Katona, a woman who has seemingly had every possible trauma happen to her. From messy divorces, drug busts and exaggerated medical conditions surely it would been irresponsible for a major TV network to film someone having potential nervous breakdowns? Oh, hold on, people like watching that? Based on that argument, Kerry Katona will soon be dubbed ‘the nation’s tragedy.’
The only TV work Kerry Katona got was when she performed in girlband Atomic Kitten, that program where a load of non-famous people went in to the Australian jungle, dire Iceland adverts and most recently, a fly on the wall documentary for MTV. Featuring her ex, Mark Croft, it was a confusing show which didn't really have a narrative, just thirty minutes of annoying bickering and arguing.
ITV2 are responsible for a number of shows which really makes us think that we're destined to be getting our own series. After all, Katie Price, Peter Andre and Alex Reid have already been given a TV crew to follow their every move. Most of the time, the series featuring these individuals are only broadcast when they are due to open a library or have some sort of product to plug.
If hecklerspray was given its own reality show, we wouldn't expect a three year contract. Instead, a lifetime opportunity would be thrust our way in order for us to entertain people via the medium of TV. Viewers would get to marvel at us struggling to complete basic day to day tasks such as making a bed, getting locked out the house and accidentally grating the skin off our fingers when attempting to make one of those food things you lot call ‘a salad’.
Kerry Katona has nothing on us, however Now Magazine report:
?She’s just signed a three-year deal with ITV for the reality show and is loving filming the shows. They’re getting brilliant ratings and she’s had so much support. It’s really real and watching it back even shocks her, she can’t believe how much she’s changed.?
If anyone would like to find out how many members of the hecklerspray writing team it takes to change a lightbulb, then you\’ll be able to find out in the first episode of our new series, ?Blog, sweat and tears.?
Now all we need is a production company with more money than sense.
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