Articles tagged with: Jennifer Aniston
Vince Vaughn Gets Engaged To Kyla Weber, Whoever She Is
You know what makes Vince Vaughn horny? Property. Make Vince watch Location Location Location and he'll start dry-humping whatever's closest to him. Probably. And Vince Vaughn's possibly-fictitious property fetish goes even further - not only do we expect that he often rubs his groin up and down the kitchen section of Habitat, but he's also just got engaged to real estate agent Kyla Weber. Amusingly, the details of Vince Vaughn's engagement are spectacularly vague - but all that matters is that Vince Vaughn is happy. And also that Jennifer Aniston will have definitely railroaded John Mayer into getting engaged to her by teatime.
You know what makes Vince Vaughn horny? Property. Make Vince watch Location Location Location and he'll start dry-humping whatever's closest to him. Probably. And Vince Vaughn's possibly-fictitious property fetish goes even further - not only do we expect that he often rubs his groin up and down the kitchen section of Habitat, but he's also just got engaged to real estate agent Kyla Weber. Amusingly, the details of Vince Vaughn's engagement are spectacularly vague - but all that matters is that Vince Vaughn is happy. And also that Jennifer Aniston will have definitely railroaded John Mayer into getting engaged to her by teatime.
WEBTHUMP! Thursday 5 March 2009
10 - Brad Pitt advertises liquid. In Japan. Like a fool - Holymoly 9 - 24 Twitter birds, all of which are far lovelier than the original - Luclatulippe 8 - So HERE's why U2 have been killing themselves promoting their new album - Popjustice 7 - And now, the world's most exuberant Bon Jovi fan - Best Week Ever 6 - Some giant paper robots ...
Oscars Really Wanted That Jennifer Aniston/ Angelina Jolie Fight
The Oscars, while ostensibly about giving little statues to humourless men, were only really about one thing. That's right - Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie. Last night's Oscars marked the first time that Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie had come within punching distance of one another for years. They didn't fight, but at least the Oscars producers tried their hardest. As Jennifer Aniston walked on stage, they instantly cut to a close-up of Angelina Jolie's face. Then they told her that Jennifer thinks her Mum's a slag before chanting the word 'scrap' until Hugh Jackman got excited and passed out. We heard.
The Oscars, while ostensibly about giving little statues to humourless men, were only really about one thing. That's right - Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie. Last night's Oscars marked the first time that Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie had come within punching distance of one another for years. They didn't fight, but at least the Oscars producers tried their hardest. As Jennifer Aniston walked on stage, they instantly cut to a close-up of Angelina Jolie's face. Then they told her that Jennifer thinks her Mum's a slag before chanting the word 'scrap' until Hugh Jackman got excited and passed out. We heard.
Jennifer Aniston & Angelina Jolie: The Oscars Punch-Up, Sunday
It took a while, but we've finally found a reason to watch the Oscars - it involves Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie. And sheer, unstoppable violence. After years of false starts and meticulously choreographed social planning, the Long-Awaited, Breathlessly-Anticipated And Borderline-Erotic Jennifer Aniston/ Angelina Jolie Catfight is due to take place at this Sunday's Oscars. What'll happen when Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie finally meet? We're guessing either a) a full-on, bloody-nosed, hair-pulling fistfight, b) some sort of awkwardly curt nodded acknowledgement of one another or c) lesbian kissing. We know we speak for all men when we say: Woohoo! Go b)!
It took a while, but we've finally found a reason to watch the Oscars - it involves Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie. And sheer, unstoppable violence. After years of false starts and meticulously choreographed social planning, the Long-Awaited, Breathlessly-Anticipated And Borderline-Erotic Jennifer Aniston/ Angelina Jolie Catfight is due to take place at this Sunday's Oscars. What'll happen when Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie finally meet? We're guessing either a) a full-on, bloody-nosed, hair-pulling fistfight, b) some sort of awkwardly curt nodded acknowledgement of one another or c) lesbian kissing. We know we speak for all men when we say: Woohoo! Go b)!
WEBTHUMP! Friday 13 February 2009
10 - Count to ten. You'll see this exact thing on a television advert for a mobile network by the time you get to about 6... 9 - A lot of things you thought were true about videogames but are actually rubbish - UGO 8 - Clive Owen loses a journalist's money. On purpose - ...
Jennifer Aniston Realises That She’s Old
Turning 40 isn't a nice experience, but Jennifer Aniston turning 40 isn't a nice experience for anybody. And we all know why. On a good day Jennifer Aniston has the ability to irritate everyone by bleating about how much she doesn't like having her picture taken or whichever one of her co-stars she's currently rogering, so on a bad day - a day like the day that's five days away from her 40th birthday when she just happens to find a grey hair - imagine how unbearable Jennifer Aniston is. Here's a clue - she's given us a headache, a nosebleed and some genuinely crippling diarrhoea.
Turning 40 isn't a nice experience, but Jennifer Aniston turning 40 isn't a nice experience for anybody. And we all know why. On a good day Jennifer Aniston has the ability to irritate everyone by bleating about how much she doesn't like having her picture taken or whichever one of her co-stars she's currently rogering, so on a bad day - a day like the day that's five days away from her 40th birthday when she just happens to find a grey hair - imagine how unbearable Jennifer Aniston is. Here's a clue - she's given us a headache, a nosebleed and some genuinely crippling diarrhoea.
Jennifer Aniston Does Something Sort Of Nice To A Dog
Jennifer Aniston has recently starred in a dog movie, done a photoshoot with a dog and taken all her clothes off. That last one's less relevant, to be fair. But it almost definitely happened. The point is, Jennifer Aniston does a lot of stuff with dogs. Including, apparently, rescuing dogs from certain death after they dart out into Sunset Boulevard without warning. So yay for Jennifer Aniston. And yay for Angelina Jolie, for when she realises that Jennifer Aniston has got more headlines than her and single-handedly repopulates the world's Iberian Lynx community directly out of her womb as retaliation.
Jennifer Aniston has recently starred in a dog movie, done a photoshoot with a dog and taken all her clothes off. That last one's less relevant, to be fair. But it almost definitely happened. The point is, Jennifer Aniston does a lot of stuff with dogs. Including, apparently, rescuing dogs from certain death after they dart out into Sunset Boulevard without warning. So yay for Jennifer Aniston. And yay for Angelina Jolie, for when she realises that Jennifer Aniston has got more headlines than her and single-handedly repopulates the world's Iberian Lynx community directly out of her womb as retaliation.
Playboy: Jennifer Aniston Not Naked Any Time Soon, Thankfully
Hold onto your hats, this is a first - Jennifer Aniston has shown a shred of dignity regarding her personal life! We know, we're shocked too. Maybe she's taken a knock to the head or something. But, nevertheless, Jennifer Aniston has apparently turned down a $10million offer from Hugh Hefner to appear naked in Playboy. Well, obviously that's unless Angelina Jolie decides to pose naked for Playboy any time soon, because if she does then Jennifer Aniston is quite willing to ram an endoscope up her clodge and project the resulting images onto the surface of the moon. For free. Obviously.
Hold onto your hats, this is a first - Jennifer Aniston has shown a shred of dignity regarding her personal life! We know, we're shocked too. Maybe she's taken a knock to the head or something. But, nevertheless, Jennifer Aniston has apparently turned down a $10million offer from Hugh Hefner to appear naked in Playboy. Well, obviously that's unless Angelina Jolie decides to pose naked for Playboy any time soon, because if she does then Jennifer Aniston is quite willing to ram an endoscope up her clodge and project the resulting images onto the surface of the moon. For free. Obviously.
