The fun thing about celebrities is that they’re always allegedly doing stuff. They’re allegedly always snorting lines of good quality drugs, reportedly getting hammered and punching their wives or allegedly having an affair with a woman on twitter and knocking up quick superinjunctions.
However, when it comes to Jennifer Aniston, she’s always allegedly doing absolutely nothing. She just stands there, like a hatstand, crying about her dead dog.
And now, the latest thing Aniston isn’t doing is dating some no-mark called Justin Theroux. Her representative is going around quashing the rumours and denying the chance of any sort of romantic link, meaning that they’re the busy person in Hollywood for simply saying “Nope, nothing to see here” all the time.
Of course, this won’t stop us all cooing about the fact that this Theroux chap was spotted eating food in a restaurant with Jen over at LA’s Sunset Towers.
We can assume they enjoyed themselves and order food that they liked to eat, which of course, equates to the fact that they are both definitely going to get married before the year is out.
Wait! Here comes that spokesperson again!
Apparently, this isn’t the case because the pair were in the company of four other people at the dinner. So basically, we’re all imagining them having sex, despite the fact she simply went out for her tea with a bunch of people.
In essence, Jennifer Aniston is so boring that she’s giving Robert Pattinson a run for his money, and he’s a man so tedious that maggots have already had a meeting and agreed that, when he dies, they’ll probably be so bored by his corpse that they won’t eat him on the off-chance that he’s still alive and simply lying there, motionless, as usual.
This means Aniston and R-Pattz are the perfect anti-celebrity couple. They should hook up. In fact, consider this the start of that particular rumour.
They’re definitely shagging. They’re probably doing it in the street somewhere as we speak but no-one has managed to notice them yet because it is roughly as exciting as watching a piece of stone erode in your hand.
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Dave says
I don’t understand the media’s obsession with reporting on Jennifer despite the fact she’s done nothing of note in years.