Two famous couples got married over the weekend: Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez, and Jimmy Kimmel and?Molly McNearney. Both were undoubtedly wonderful events, romantic, moving,?blah blah blah …?but based on available reports, one sounds?a hell of a lot?more fun than the other. Let’s compare.
First,?Halle’s pregnant. That means no champagne, but lots of swollen everything. Not ideal for a party. First point goes to Team Jimmy/Molly.
Jimmy and Molly’s wedding was held at?a fancy?southern California inn with about 300 guests. Halle and Olivier’s much more intimate wedding was held at a chateau?in France’s Burgundy region. Though it sounds odd to describe a wedding held at a chateau as?intimate,?I’m partial to smaller weddings, and it seems tasteful since this is Halle’s third, so I’ll be generous and give that point to Halle/Olivier. Tied one to one.
Halle’s guest list evidently included Olivier’s mom and brother. Jimmy’s, on?the other hand, boasted tons?of celebs (of course, that’s not to say that celebs are necessarily more fun than regular people, but they probably are). His guests included (forgive the endless list, but there were lots of famous people there): Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Aniston, Howard Stern, Emily Blunt, John Krasinski, Ellen DeGeneres, Portia DeRossi,?JJ Abrams, Johnny Knoxville, Don Cheadle, Andy Richter,?Jeff Ross, Stanley Tucci … to name just a few. I would personally prefer to hang out with Matt Damon than Olivier’s mom, so another point to Team?Jimmy/Molly, regaining the lead.
Objectively-speaking, one couple is more physically?attractive, when viewed side-by-side. But despite Halle and Olivier’s?eye-seering good looks,?there’s something?troubling about their matching hairstyles. They strike me as?two very high maintenance people who probably have tons of mirrors conveniently positioned on every surface of their house.?Jimmy and Molly, on the other hand,?look happy and fun and I want to be their friend. To be fair, that’s not Halle and Olivier’s wedding photo, just some red carpet event, so they don’t look quite as over-the-moon blissful as Jimmy and Molly. But?I’m pretty sure those two never look fun. Team Jimmy/Molly do it again.
So the big win goes to Jimmy and Molly with three out of four points (and really Halle and Olivier’s one point was mostly out of pity). Congratulations, guys! Cheers, happily ever after, and all that …