Posts tagged as:

EastEnders

Soap Spoilers! Sex! Marriage! Golf Memberships!

by Joanna Bolouri

We know that some all of our readers are unhinged enough to believe that the Land of Soaps is actually a real place, filled with real people who face real problems every day and as we’re really quite mischievous we’ll play along with this batshitcrazy idea. Besides, we’ve got nothing else to do since Sophie Hall put [...]

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Soap Spoilers! Half Moons! Cold Feet! Tasers!

by Joanna Bolouri

It’s Monday you morons! Time to find out exactly what your favourite made up  people are up to this week in Soapland! MADE UP? That’s right, it isn’t real but was invented by people called writers who, if the hecklerspray scribes are anything to go by are most likely soulless villains, sniggering at you from behind their laptops. [...]

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Soap Spoilers! Sperm! Smashes! Tuesday!

by Joanna Bolouri

It’s Monday! Do you know what this means?! That’s right, not only do you still smell like Jagerbombs and vomit from Saturday night but it’s also time to find out what’s coming up in Soapland! Yes, as usual we skip along to Eastenders first where Michael has yet another cunning plan up his sleeve. Oh [...]

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Soap Spoilers! Kissing!! Kidnapping!! Tatties!!

by Joanna Bolouri

Here at hecklerspray we live for soaps and spend literally weeks minutes gathering insider information to bring you these spoilers every week, and every night before we snuggle up together in our single bed we all sing this while holding hands and remember that even though we’re complete losers, we’ll never be as needy as you lot. [...]

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Soap Spoilers! Fights! Drugs! Fire Walking!

by Joanna Bolouri

Hello Soap Fans! Have a good week? No? Brilliant. We hope you’re all miserable. It’s time to find out what’s happening in the land of made up people this week and you can be grateful that you won’t have to gaze upon anyone dressed as a Pearly Queen ever again. Well except our editor Mof [...]

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Soap Spoilers! It’s Not Real! You’re Welcome

by Joanna Bolouri

Spoiling soaps time! Hurray! Don’t complain. It’s not like the headline didn’t warn you that we’re about to tell you things that are about to happen in your favourite soap opera. Only a bovine brained div would whine about such things. Sadly, many of you are indeed, moo-headed simpletons, but that probably says more about [...]

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Shane Richie Has Sex With President Of His Own Fan Club While Grieving A Dog

by Sophie Hall

Hey guys! You’ll never guess how much sex Shane Richie’s been having. Quite a bit, so we heard. No, really. He’s actually been having sex. So the story goes that Alison Hall, the president of The Shane Richie Fan Club (Oxymoron of the Year) had been pursuing the cockney Stud Muffin since she was 13. [...]

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Soap Spoilers! Disease! Flat Wrecking! Disgust!

by Joanna Bolouri

We love soaps…well, perhaps love is a bit strong, maybe despise is closer to the truth but regardless we realise some of you need this information in order to function normally, so here you go. Losers. In Eastenders this week, Max and Tanya finally get caught out even though we’ve all known about it for [...]

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Soap Spoilers! It’s All Fun And Games Until Someone Loses A Parrot.

by Joanna Bolouri

We don’t know about you but it’s been quite a week here at hecklerspray since we last gave you something to live for. Our editor Mof, finally found out that fellow writer and massive Steps fan Michael Park is really his son after a one night stand with someone he thought was Kerry Katona but [...]

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Danniella Westbrook Turns To Religion, Snorting Up The Lord Jesus’ Good Stuff

by Matthew Laidlow

Religion is a fascinating thing isn’t it? Whilst Christians, Muslims, Sikhs and the mentalist Scientologists all bicker over who is right, they are united by one thing – practising terrible and archaic teachings. Practically everything else in the world has developed and modernised, such as transport and communication. We reckon that if Jesus was alive [...]

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