Posts tagged as:

Christmas

Uh-oh! Kelly Osbourne Is Justifying Her Horrible Personality Again!

by Mof Gimmers

Kelly Osbourne, a girl who has more hang-ups than a gallows convention, is shouting her mouth off again in the hope that it makes her appear like she’s one of those Z clicking independent wimmin who won’t be taking no grief from no-one. OKAY? However, she’s not being all feminist, rather, she’s saying that Hollywood [...]

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Kelly Osbourne Bonds With Transsexual Who Her Ex Had It Off With

by Mof Gimmers

Kelly Osbourne, who has found out the hard way that you can lose loads of weight but alas, it doesn’t make your massive skull any smaller, is a woman scorned. Her ex, a model called Luke Worrall, cheated on her over Christmas and it all went tits-up. However, the rags were thrilled about the whole [...]

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Girls Who Are Boys, Who Like Boys To Be Girls…Courtesy Of Kelly Osbourne

by Ralph Sanders

Poor old Kelly Osbourne. After years of being chided for her masculine features – her strong jaw, wrestler’s shoulders and mouth like a inebriated docker – she’s finally managed to slim down to a rough approximation of femininity and find a lovely Aryan man-child to become her fiancé, only to get cheated on with a [...]

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Kelly Osbourne Gets Cheated On By Someone Called Luke Worrall For Christmas

by Mof Gimmers

Kelly Osbourne has learned that, once you lose loads of weight, it is much easier for nasty sorts to get through your ribcage and cause you heartache. It’s a good thing that festive food and drink is an excellent substitute for feelings. That’s because our Kelly has had a turbulent end to 2010, resulting in [...]

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HecklerPlay: The Bonnevilles Give Away Amazingly Noisy Music For Christmas

by Mof Gimmers

Okay ear owners! It is time to punish yourself in the most fuzztastic way possible. Scorching guitars, white-boy soul howling and drums being hit so hard that the snare wishes it could grow arms just to blow its brains out. This week’s HecklerPlay is offering you free tunes from the outrageously great Irish outfit, The [...]

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Christmas Greetings From The Hideous And Stupid Hecklerspray Editor

by Mof Gimmers

Hello readers. Once again, let me apologise for ruining hecklerspray. Stuart Heritage is twice the man and three times the lady I’ll ever be. I miss him dearly. This site has gone to shit since he left and his departure is obviously the biggest cultural event of 2010. Fuck those Chilean miners. But what a [...]

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Sorry Lads, Kelly Brook And Danny Thingy Are Back Together… We Think

by Kris Silver

Kelly Brook, the only girl who comes anywhere near matching the sheer loveliness of Zooey Deschanel, is off the market again by the looks of it. The buxom British babe, star of Piranha 3D and… probably something else none of us can quite think of right now, apart from that issue of Playboy she got [...]

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ITV Tragically Sign Up Kerry Katona For Three More Years

by Matthew Laidlow

No matter where you go, we are constantly told that Cheryl Cole is the nation’s sweetheart. Newspapers convey this to us and even the butcher will inform you as he’s tenderising a turkey’s face. It seems that if you release a couple of pop songs, smack a toilet attendant in the face and catch malaria, [...]

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Fan Gropes Lady GaGa’s Boob In Paris – Some People Assume She Was Asking For It

by Mof Gimmers

Lady GaGa is just about the most interesting popstar on the planet right now. Deal with it. You don’t have to like her, but acknowledge the fact that she’s fun to have around. Compare her to the crashing bore Matt Cardle who just won The X Factor, and you realise that if you’re going to [...]

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Lady Gaga Kills Santa, Merry Christmas Everyone!

by Matthew Laidlow

If Lady Gaga walked into your front room, smashed up all your possessions and then pissed on the floor, nobody would be shocked. After all, she is an “artist” and more than just a musician. It wouldn’t be the destruction of your property, billed more as “destroying the capitalist Zen that has eaten away at [...]

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