In news that will rock with world, as we saw when Michael Jackson decided to have too much Propofol, it brings us absolutely no pleasure to tell you that Norman, Jennifer Aniston’s Welsh corgi-terrier mix, has died at the age of 15. He is survived by around half-a-dozen other Welsh corgi-terrier mixes from the same litter.
The dog, said to be behind the split of Aniston and Brad Pitt, accompanied the actress on location and everywhere else, and was noted for his penchant for bitches and suffered from an alcohol problem for many years.
In recent years, Norman has had complications in his constitution thank to his hell-raising and the onset of old age.
Jen’s representative said:
“He died a few weeks ago. He was an old dog and it was just his time.”
This is bad news for all as Jennifer recently bought a $4.95 million apartment in New York under the name Norman’s Nest Trust, leaving her house looking a bit stupid now. Sources close to the former Friends actress have suggested that the apartment may be renamed ‘Canine Cadaver Crib’, but we can’t be bothered to verify.
Norman, in later years, was a demanding pet, with Aniston revealing that she has been paying for Norman to receive a number of specialist treatments. She reportedly paid $250 a week on massage and acupuncture therapy for the unreasonable pooch, who has been widely reported as being something of a ‘diva’.
A while ago, a source revealed:
“Norman has been Jennifer’s constant companion during all her emotional upheavals, but he suffers from aching joints and stiffness. Jennifer doesn’t want to put him on medication just yet, so she has opted for doggy spa treatments from a licensed vet technician.”
It was during this spell that Norman was alleged to have had a brief affair with one of Elton John’s canine chums.
Aniston has spoken candidly about Norman in the past:
“It wouldn’t be bad if, when a man comes home, he’d run to his woman with his tail wagging. This sort of excitement is something I’ve always missed in a man to be honest.”
It isn’t clear whether the actress was referring to male genitalia or not in this quote. We’ll just assume she wishes that her love-interests would get their ‘lipstick’ out now and then when she came home from work.
The death of Norman also ties in with the fact that Aniston is to go topless in her next film, while fellating a banana. It would appear that, along with the feint smell of urine, flea collars and gum-disease, Jennifer’s moral compass has passed on to the other side.
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pin says
WHO CARE!
Wembley Fraggle says
WE CARES?
dog lovers says
I am so sorry to hear about her loss. But you people who write this stuff , what do you do for real fun? please be case sensative to nice people ok. God loves siners and ask for his help to forgive you for being so negative. Live , Love , Laugh and often , hopefully with the same partner, male to male or female to famale or male to female everbody deserves love and kindness. God love us all kind people. Give a little, receive a lot. Jeniffers dog was her family and she is in pain, i know becasue i was there. I understand animal loss. I pray for her.
Wembley Fraggle says
It’s like being present at the birth of language.