Kelly Osbourne, who has found out the hard way that you can lose loads of weight but alas, it doesn’t make your massive skull any smaller, is a woman scorned. Her ex, a model called Luke Worrall, cheated on her over Christmas and it all went tits-up.
However, the rags were thrilled about the whole thing because there was a twist in the tale! Worrall cheated on Osbourne with Elle Schneider who, GET THIS, was once a man called Reynaldo Gonzalez!
IMAGINE THAT?!
Of course, the subtext with any story involving someone who is transgender is “Ho ho ho! Aren’t some people weird?! Do we call them ‘he’, ‘she’ or ‘it’? WHAT A DAFT WORLD WE LIVE IN! HO HO HO!”, which is about as subtle and pleasant as finding a spent condom in your coat pocket.
Alas, the real odd piece of this celebrity jigsaw is that here, we have two women who are bonding over the fact they’ve shagged the same person who cheated on the more famous one of the two.
Elle said:
“I spoke to Kelly about two days ago. Every time we talk on the phone, it will be for 40 minutes to an hour . Kelly contacted me on 25 December.”
“She had read Luke’s private messages to me on his twitter page and wanted to let me know he had been lying to me, just like he had lied to her.”
Elle, who is undergoing treatment for… well… what do you think, cretins? first met Luke at a New York nightclub and the both ended up having sex in a hotel. So far, so normal one-night-stand.
Luke, who may well be something of a love-rat, wasn’t fussed when Elle told him she was a transsexual and actually seemed more interested in her because of it. Even if it was only a curiosity fuck, that’s quite commendable.
Elle says:
“I was open with Luke, I told him I was born a boy. He didn’t mind. In fact it turned him on more. He told me I was beautiful. It was only when I took my clothes off that hew saw I had a penis. He wasn’t fazed by it ‘ he was very complimentary.”
Alas, Ms Osbourne isn’t so complimentary about ol’ Luke, stating that she only feels disgust for him.
Elle adds:
“From the moment I met him he was telling me he loved me and wanted us to get married. At the same time he was professing his love to me, he was doing the same to Kelly. I think the way he has treated her is terrible. The way Luke lives his life is completely toxic.”
If you can’t recall what Kelly said, it went a little something like this:
‘@Luke_worrall is the biggest piece of s**t he has been trying to get back w/ me I only came home for Xmas to see him meanwhile he has been f***ing 100’s of girls as well as men behind my back all he did was use me all girls beware of…
@Luke_worral he is a using ****! He used me for my money and a free ride he is lucky I am not spilling the hole truth about what he did ! [sic]’
So there you have it. Make your own stupid minds up about it all.
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Tim says
What a nasty piece of work Elle seems to be – she’s clearly after attention and to sell her very probably imagined story? The skype photos she has released have already proven to be faked in Photoshop – sadly people believe the lies that are sold by the gutter press. Dragging someones reputation through the dirt and branding them a ‘love rat’ might seem entertaining but is actually rather sick. Leave the boy alone, keep quiet and get yourself some dignity as he has.
jessie says
Did you ever think that Elle never said any of these things? It’s rumored that it’s all being exaggerated and made up.
Impulse Magazine says
Kelly is definitely one weird individual