DON?T PANIC EVERYONE! Frankie from The Saturdays has been found alive and well! Go back about your business.
The World was left in a state of shock when The Saturdays pitched up on London’s Oxford Street to turn on the Christmas lights, only to find that Frankie (the one people know the name of) wasn?t there.
It turns out that the former S Club Juniors singer was just feeling a bit poorly, so wasn?t able to join her band mates when they officially started Christmas on Tuesday evening.
Rumours circulated that the singer must have been kidnapped as part of a terrorist plot to derail the musical behemoth that is The Saturdays. The plan came about when senior Al-Qaeda leaders discovered documentary evidence that suggested that The Saturdays, the most powerful pop group in the West, are unable to defend the country in their giant fighting robots, which can merge together to form a giant mechanical monster, when they are not all together.
Hold on, we may have confused the Saturdays with the Power Rangers for a minute.
No, Frankie just wasn?t feeling well and apparently wasn?t up to the task of standing on a stage with 4 other people to do a single synchronised movement, despite the fact that this has formed the basis of her career to date.
Now that she's back, The Saturdays can resume being the biggest pop band in Britain that is still yet to have had any semblance of commercial success outside of an ad campaign or a copy of Now! magazine.
Although, thinking about it, we can't help but feel that if The Saturdays did actually become Power Rangers, they?d probably be a bit more successful and we might actually care whether or not one of them was too ill to flick a bloody switch on Oxford Street.
Oh well, at least we now know how many Saturdays it takes to switch on a light bulb. If only we could remember their names.
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