Posts tagged as:

Christmas

Benton/Fenton Backed By Fearne Cotton For Christmas No.1 (Mass Suicides Planned)

by Mof Gimmers

That dog. Haha! It nearly killed a load of deer and everyone laughed. The man. The man he chased the dog. He shouted Benton! Wait. It transpired it was called Fenton. Some people said “See, I always knew it was Fenton” in the world’s crappiest ‘toldyaso‘. Then the man said ‘Jesus Christ!’ and every single [...]

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Top 10 Songs For Getting You In The Christmas Spirit

by hecklerspray staff

Christmas is-a-coming, and the geese are getting fat. Handy really as they’ll probably be eaten soon along with turkeys, vegetables, pudding and of course, lots of mulled wine and the like. As much as it pains us, we really like Christmas. It’s all about eating, drinking and allowing us the opportunity to crack a smile [...]

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Badvertising Christmas Special Part II: It Was Better When We Were Kids – An Impassioned Plea To Toys R’ Us

by Michael Park

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s not dilly-dally around the issue of Christmas advertising. It’s everywhere and it’s so aggressive that 90% of the time you feel less like it’s the most wonderful time of the year™ and is more akin to being drugged and lured onto a railway platform by a sexually excited Jeremy Clarkson. It’s [...]

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Badvertising Christmas Special Part 1: Santa Claus Is Made Redundant By TV Presenters

by Michael Park

It’s christmas. Woopdeedoo and loop de loop and all that. Yes, that’s right, since you all asked so fucking nicely, we didn’t bother to do a video this week as it’s the festive season and is therefore all about building up your hopes in order to dash them. In fact, we’re so set on driving [...]

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Pippa Middleton Knows How To Have A Jolly Good Time At Christmas

by Matthew Laidlow

The Royal family split opinion more than whether psychic Sally can communicate with your dead Uncle Ray. Love them or loathe them, Queen Elizabeth II and her slightly racist husband Phillip won’t be going anywhere soon. Wouldn’t you cling onto your life if you had the cushiest job in the known universe? Of course, most [...]

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Terrorist Plot To Destroy The Saturdays Is Thwarted By Its Lack Of Existence

by Kris Silver

DON’T PANIC EVERYONE! Frankie from The Saturdays has been found alive and well! Go back about your business. The World was left in a state of shock when The Saturdays pitched up on London’s Oxford Street to turn on the Christmas lights, only to find that Frankie (the one people know the name of) wasn’t [...]

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Justin Bieber Set To Ruin Christmas With His Stupid Festive Themed Album

by Matthew Laidlow

Christmas is promoted over summer these days, since stupid capitalism got involved. They say it’s the most wonderful time of the year and who are we to disagree? Children throw strops when their parents won’t buy them a games console to replace last year’s outdated model whilst long lost relatives crawl out the woodwork looking [...]

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Kelly Osbourne Has A Dig At Ex Via Twitter With Her Massively Loud Mouth

by Mof Gimmers

Say what you like about Kelly Osbourne, but… no, seriously. Say whatever you like. We’re not Kelly Osbourne so we’re not going to defend her. That’s because she’s rather fond of doing it for herself. See, Kelly has had a privileged but awkward upbringing, and so, as some coping mechanism, developed a really loud mouth. [...]

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World Goes Into Mourning After Kelly Osbourne’s Stupid Dog Dies

by Mof Gimmers

Dog owners are idiots. They dote on their flea-bitten shit-factories like they’re proper members of the family, despite the fact they do no work around the house, demand food and walkies and are only good for blaming your flatulence on. Not that dog owners would ever let on. They look into their idiot dog’s eyes [...]

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Sharon Osbourne And Porn In The Same Headline

by Mof Gimmers

You’d think that Sharon Osbourne was unshockable wouldn’t you? After all, she’s willingly had intercourse with Ozzy Osbourne, probably with the lights on too. She’s also stared at her own surgically enhanced face in the mirror, while wearing no make-up. She lets her dogs shit in the house. However, it seems Sharon is a bit [...]

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