Posts tagged as:

Christmas

Beyonce Hasn’t Had A Baby, So Stop Saying She Has You Dithering Pinheads

by Mof Gimmers

To those of you who have been tweeting the ether, congratulating Beyonce and Jay Z on their new baby, you look incredibly stupid right now. That’s because Queen B hasn’t had a baby at all. Right? RIGHT? Obviously, she might not be pregnant at all and is merely waiting for the surrogate to fly from [...]

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Lady GaGa Has A Boyfriend So You Can Stop Pretending To Fancy Her Now

by Mof Gimmers

Lady Gaga is the ideal woman for… well… most gay men in the world. Apart from those who think she’s cynically milking the gay purse for all it’s worth. Of course, there are straight people and lesbians who fancy her as well, but all that doesn’t matter. Bad news for you guys. See, it appears [...]

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Beyonce To Go To Hospital To Have Fake Baby Bump Removed?

by Mof Gimmers

Uh-oh! There’s a baby due in New York City! That can only mean one thing! Beyonce is going to have her fake baby bump removed after what seems like only a month of wearing it and some surrogate is going to hand over a beautiful child! Or, indeed, she’s actually going to force one out [...]

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HecklerPlay: And A Very Festive Dubstep Christmas To You

by Matthew Laidlow

Alongside all the presents and sherry we receive at this time of year, it’s also a time of year where we have to put up with a variety of seasonal music. Why we only get terrible holiday songs at Christmas is a mystery to us. Surely someone would have exploited the magic of Jesus rising [...]

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Diddy & Co Takeover Vegas Like They’re The Rat Pack

by Mof Gimmers

This Christmas, you may be pushing the boat out and spoiling yourself something rotten. You may have bought a load of cheeses that you wouldn’t normally buy. You may have got three bottles of drink in an attempt to make cocktails. It is the only time of year you ever buy pâté. Feels good doesn’t [...]

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Lady GaGa Is Giving Everyone A Christmas Present – Other Celebs Proven To Be Tight Fisted

by Mof Gimmers

Hey! Celebrities! What are you giving us plebs for Christmas? No. We don’t want individual gifts from you. That would be stupid. We want something though because, if you didn’t know, Lady GaGa has got us all something. Yeah. You heard, you tight-fisted, mean-spirited scrooges. You have all that money and time, and what? You’re [...]

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Beyonce Bans Christmas TV, On The Off-Chance She’ll See One Of Destiny’s Child’s Awful Songs

by Mof Gimmers

Beyonce is looking forward to packing away that collapsing stomach she bought while she waits for the stork to bring her newborn into the world. We can only hope she goes a bit Jermaine Jackson and gives it a ludicrous name. And of course, it is Christmas which will see Beyonce and Jay Z having [...]

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Justin Bieber Wants His Child Fans To Know That Father Christmas Doesn’t Exist

by Mof Gimmers

Hey! Justin Bieber fans! Beliebers! Are you looking forward to Christmas? Are you? Have you been good this year? Are you hoping Father Christmas brings you Justin’s Christmas album to you on Christmas Day? He won’t. He definitely won’t. Not a rat-in-an-arse’s chance kiddo! That’s because Santa isn’t real. Yep. Big shock to us too. [...]

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Having A Christmas Party? Absolut Will Sort Your Invites!

by Mof Gimmers

So, Christmas is upon us. It’s a time of goodwill, presents, stuffing your face and, if you’re us, a constant reminder of how absolutely no-one ever wants to spend any time at all with us. No. We’re not getting used to it. However, you might be loved by so-called ‘people’. In that case, chances are [...]

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Badvertising Christmas Special Part III: The Range & Their Staff Of Shuffling Morons

by Michael Park

Christmas is a time of giving and it’s also a time for making so much money that to view it all packed into one room would melt the mind of anyone from the working classes while simultaneously destabilising the economic security of a developing African country. Of course, anyone with 70 pence and a reasonable idea of [...]

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