Aren't we all lucky people right now? Frankie Cocozza is off the streets for the next few weeks so we can all get over that bad bout of crabs that we can't seem to shift, Adele has a new boyfriend so we might not have a song that isn't the worst sort of melancholic bollocks available and Lady Gaga has promised us a new album appearing sometime this year.
She doesn't have name for it yet, and even if she did, we wouldn't find out about it until she cryptically posted a video entitled ?le title prologue? or whatever bollocks language she thinks is so vogue right now, or has all the World?s press stepping on her toes, dying to get the slightest piece of information out of her tightly wound lips.
And we don't mean the ones that's-a on her face.
The subject theme of the album is heavily under wraps, but she's united the hipster cocks of Downtown New York and all affected gay teens that want everyone to know they're gay under one merry banner, so who?ll be added to Gaga?s army of Little Monsters? Transsexuals? Unpleasant shop workers? Koalas? Who knows? Well Gaga knows (we hope).
We don't even have any information about what sort of things she will be including on her album, but a country threeway with William Shatner and Barbra Streisand probably isn't going to be in there. Unless Gaga the Benevolent wants to throw the only man brave enough to captain the Enterprise against Khan Noonien Singh a bone.
She's done it before, but do we honestly think that all the pop-slags drinking WKD purple and other such things would have been wearing bows made out of hair if she didn't do it? Or things with shoulder pads?
Lady Gaga has a lot to answer for, but until extra clauses are put into the Geneva Protocol prohibiting the use of awful synths as methods of Warfare we might never get the answer to those questions. That?d be a great afternoon at The Hague wouldn't it?
So a new Gaga album is almost imminent. Listening to it won't be consensual, you\’ll feel grubby and dirty afterwards, but the sooner it's finished the better. Much like sex with Frankie Cocozza. The dirty hair rapist.
wow says
This is extremely vulgar and you are disrespecting not only lady gaga, but a ton of other people. While you are caught up patting your back with advanced rhetoric and sly cultural references, why don’t you find something better to do. Disgusting.
Robin Darke says
You’re entirely correct; I have been incredibly disrespectful, and for that reason I will pledge a full and frank apology to any members of the Koalan nation who I may have offend. We all like your fur and would never use it for anything other than a kick ass scarf.
But other than that, I’m not sure who else I could have offended. Is it the angry shop workers?
Not Robin Darke says
Oh, and i forgot to mention………..this entire FUCKING site is dedicated to having a little fun whilst giving a full and BIASED journal of shit that really doesn’t matter in life……….well, except to people who have no life, and thats where you come into the picture, because thanks to retarded morons such as yourself, we are able to ” Keep on Truckin “, as they say.
Gag reflex’s……….now there’s something to ponder, how come some girl’s have them (which is rather pointless if you ask me) and some (these are known as “Good Girls”) don’t ?
To me its an artform, one i take very seriously, but alas i have many times been let down. Your post reminded me of someone…..someone i cared for many, many years ago, but like you she was a whiner, about a lot of things really, but she mainly whined when i would shove down on the back of her head when she was giving hea……..well you know.
But my point is this, if you continue to whine, instead of just shutting the hell up and being a “Good Girl” you too will find yourself left behind in someone else’s past………….So be a trooper, start off slow and practice on a nice big cucumber.
LeFarts says
hmm……….Not Robin Drake, reverse psychology at its finest, good job on throwing them off track, but thats not much of a pseudonym !!
K. says
You sir are the reason why Americans are looked down upon. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want people thinking I’m an asshole just because of this post. If you want to get attention, you’re doing it the wrong way. Learn some respect from those who inspire others.