To those of you who have been tweeting the ether, congratulating Beyonce and Jay Z on their new baby, you look incredibly stupid right now. That’s because Queen B hasn’t had a baby at all. Right? RIGHT?
Obviously, she might not be pregnant at all and is merely waiting for the surrogate to fly from South America next month when the flights are a bit cheaper. She’s got to ditch that inflatable Preg-O-Tum at some point hasn’t she?
That’s if you believe those rumours, which we absolutely do. We won’t believe Beyonce carried the child until we’ve seen her naked, sweating on a hospital bed, with a small human head poking out of her guts. All this doesn’t matter of course because Solange Knowles (Bea’s less successful singing sister) has been shooting down rumours.
Last week, idiots of twitter were cooing all about this baby girl, who Beyonce had named Tiana May Carter. Sadly, it was a work of fiction, leaving fans praising thin-air.
And now, Solange has tweeted:
Shout out to my sister for being THE cutest pregnant woman ever!
Not only that, Billboard reported that they saw Beyonce and Jay Z having dinner on New Year’s Eve in Brooklyn, totally still large of stomach.
So there you have it. Stop praising a baby that doesn’t exist. That’s a stupid thing to do.
What are you? Christians?