Despite doing nothing more remarkable than what women have been doing for thousands of years and without the help of a placenta-grooming team, Beyonce?s medical needs were deemed so important by her minders that they barred other patients from entering the 6th floor neonatal intensive care unit where Queen B was resting up after giving birth to a child presumably named after a toilet-cleaner.
Neil Coulon accused Beyonce?s hired goons of treating the hospital corridor like ?an exclusive nightclub?. By which we mean, enforced a strict entrance policy, rather than charging other patients ?30, flicking the light switches on and off, pissing on the floor then dousing them in Joop! and pheromones.
Coulon told the New York Daily News:
?Three times they stopped me from entering or exiting the NICU and it happened once on Friday – just because they wanted to use the hallway?
?They should have been more strategic about it. These are children with problems in intensive care and you’re just going to take over the hospital like you own it? All I want is an apology.?
To be honest, it is incredibly hard not to side with B&J on this one; the $750million powercouple are alleged to have blown $1.3million bullet-proofing the maternity wing, Money well spent, as everyone knows that bullet wounds are sooooo 2004.
Think about it.
If you spent ?30 on a new rug, you wouldn’t even let people walk on it with their SHOES on, let alone allowing sick people dripping umbilical blood, guts, vernix and stuff all over it.
In fact, for $1.3million we would have expected all NHS’ers shot on sight. So yeah. You go B! Besides, did the plebs make a piece of music about the whole thing that sounded like this?
No. No they didn’t. Yes, we know it’s not very good.
UPDATE – The hospital have denied these claims, but that’s not very funny. Either way, we’re adding this so lawyers don’t give us hassle.
This was a guest post by Lady Robotnik who, frankly, has great legs and fists that won’t quit. It is advised you don’t mess