Kelly Osbourne has learned that, once you lose loads of weight, it is much easier for nasty sorts to get through your ribcage and cause you heartache. It’s a good thing that festive food and drink is an excellent substitute for feelings.
That’s because our Kelly has had a turbulent end to 2010, resulting in a rather sweary rant on twitter (yes, we’re astonished as well).
Osbourne went off on one like a mad-thing against her now former fiance Luke Worrall, who we’ve never heard of either. All we know is that he looks like a cross between Spike from Buffy and a ten year old Aryan posterboy.
This is how it all unfolded.
Osbourne kicked things off in a vague, emo manner, tweeting:
“Just found something out that has hurt my feelings so bad :( and christmas was going so well.”
Then, over a series of tweets, she added:
“What do you do when someone lies in the darkest way and you try to tell the person that was lied to but they don’t believe you? I think the best part of this situation is that I have been painted out to be the crazy one when all I did was tell the honest to God truth.”
Sounds like a case of ‘I’m not being funny or anything, but…’. Still, Kelly wasn’t prepared to languish in cryptic vaguery, returning to that famous potty gob of hers, offering up some splendid ‘night time language’.
“Luke Worrall is the biggest piece of s**, he has been trying to get back with me, I only came home for Xmas to see him. Meanwhile, he has been f***ing hundreds of girls…behind my back.”
She wasn’t done there either, continuing:
“All he did was use me. All girls, beware of @Luke_worral he is a using C***! He used me for my money and a free ride. He is lucky I am not spilling the whole truth about what he did!”
“He is the worst thing that ever happened to me,”
“I don’t give a f*** what happens to him anymore…I am and always will be too good for him…Darling, your pretty face will only get you so far because you don’t have the brains to back it up.”
The truth about what he did? How intriguing! We can only assume that ‘the truth’ means that he used to nick the odd quid out of her purse to buy 20 Regal King Size/20 Luckies (depending on what country they were in, of course).
“Don’t think I have ever felt so stupid. He made a fool of me.”
We find that had to believe. C’mon now. Kelly Osbourne constantly looks like she’s in a state of dumbness and was probably born into a wicker basket marked ‘Fool’. Still, she’s all heartbroken and we’re poking fun at her. That isn’t fair is it?
Well it wasn’t fair on us when we had to listen to those wretched records you released some years ago.
Anyway, we’ll be getting a break from sweary Kelly as she’s…
“off Twitter for a while. never felt like this in my life.”
We’ll start cutting ourselves in solidarity Kel.
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