Posts tagged as:

Children

Michael Jackson’s Daughter Sleeps Inside A Jacket Or Whatever

by Mof Gimmers

With the Michael Jackson v. Conrad Murray’s Syringe court case imminent, we need to keep Jacko in the news because come the trial, we’ll need to convince ourselves that we’re informed. There’s no danger of you lot being uber-informed though because, chances are, you have absolutely no life outside of scouring the internet for articles [...]

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Russell Brand Upsets Every Single Disabled Person On Earth

by Mof Gimmers

Russell Brand has opened his mouth and let a load of words come out that have made disabled people either cry, or want to viciously beat him up with their angry, angry fists. Has he ill-advisedly said that Katy Perry looks ‘a bit special sometimes’? NO! Don’t be an idiot. He’s called Paralympic athletes “novelty [...]

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‘Sayonara Russell Brand’ Say Japanese Deportation Folks

by Mof Gimmers

Russell Brand – essentially James Blunt in a long, thick, acrylic wig – has been kicked out of Japan, meaning that his stay in the East was roughly 3 seconds long. In that time, it is assumed that he told roughly 2 jokes and mugged to an imaginary camera 54,900 times. That’s right. Japanese authorities [...]

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Nicole Kidman Stalked By Drunk Wizard

by Joanna Bolouri

Here at hecklerspray, we take stalking very seriously indeed. So seriously in fact, we spend all of our bingo winnings on really hi-tech night vision goggles making sure all those celebrities are safe from harm while undressing in front of their bedroom windows at night. However, in the days before Tom Cruise was the only [...]

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Calvin Harris Tries To Have A Fight With Katy Perry Online And Fails

by Mof Gimmers

Katy Perry and Calvin Harris have started having a massive spat on twitter after the tallest Scottish musician who has ever lived decided to cancel some shows with her at the last minute. Something of a godsend for everyone concerned really. Of course, Harris taking on Perry is hilarious in itself. Some two-bit teeny-raver tackling [...]

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Jury To Be Chosen For Televised Michael Jackson Trial (Or: Pass The Propofol Popcorn Over The Corpse)

by Mof Gimmers

Great news! Michael Jackson’s death trial is going to be on the television! This is very exciting news! Not only will we be able to witness the astonishingly tedious inner-workings of the law, but we’ll also get to see people protesting about stuff they’ve got no idea about! Yes indeed, our beloved Michael Jackson fans [...]

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Charlie Sheen’s Children Can’t Process His Life Of Winning And Tiger Blood

by Mof Gimmers

Should we all continue to encourage Charlie Sheen to party his way into an early grave? It is becoming apparently that Sheen is reading online opinions of his antics and now enjoying the smell of his own farts a bit too much. It was kinda funny watching Sheen strip away his Earthly dignity to reveal [...]

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Michael Jackson’s Children Defend Conrad Murray, Leaving Fans Wondering Who To Blame

by Mof Gimmers

Boooo! Hissss! Conrad Murray! He’s a rotten sod who killed Michael Jackson by being hopeless! He probably liked Prince’s records better! Boooo! What a stinkin’ rotter! And that’s what 99% of Michael Jackson devotees have spent their time shouting for the past 12 months. Most MJ fans have all this worked out already so they [...]

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Katy Perry’s Mother Desperately Wants Her Daughter To Have Sex Without A Condom On

by Mof Gimmers

Hey! Remember when dithering Christian, Katy Perry’s Mum (that’s her real name) had a massive cry in public about her daughter’s music? No, she didn’t think it was bad per se, rather, she didn’t like the whole ‘I Kissed A Girl’ message. Because, she reckons, that sort of thing make you end up in a [...]

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Nicole Kidman Wants More Children But Certainly Isn’t Prepared To Actually Squeeze Them Out

by Mof Gimmers

Remember Nicole Kidman from BMX Bandits and that Robbie Williams song? Well, she’s a new mother and she’s positively glowing about it. That’s because she’s had her Ready Brek, not because she’s ever been pregnant. The Scientology escapist announced the birth of her and husband Keith Urban’s daughter called  Faith who was born via someone [...]

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