You’ve heard Coldplay right? Yeah, that’s the guys that make tepid, stadium-sized faeces, swarmed upon by tasteless flies who like vague lyrics that kinda sound aspirational or touching, but best not to dwell on it because that’s not why one goes to a Coldplay gig.
Basically, it’s music for the bone idle.
Disagree? Well, hear this, chumps: Even Chris Martin’s own children – those little oiks who he loves unreservedly and will support for the rest of their lives – don’t even like Coldplay. And Chris Martin knows that to try and force them would be folly.
Chris, who is of course married to the similarly musically-talentless-but-still-sings-for-money-anyway Gwyneth Paltrow, says that he doesn’t want to force his children to like Coldplay.
Fair deal really seeing as he foisted terrible names on them – Apple and Moses.
Martin told the USA Today newspaper:
“My children made me focused on not wasting time on anything I don’t think is worth wasting time on.
“So that’s affected my editing process. You don’t want to spend months and months doing something and have it turn out terrible. You want your kids to be proud, basically. So it gives you extra drive.”
Alas, if this is the case, then we have to equate Martin’s love for his children with his musical output. If they’re driving him to become better, then it’s only fair that the quality of the music is in direct proportion to how much he loves Moses and Apple.
Have you heard the newest Coldplay material?
Call the adoption agency.
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UsoFunny says
Fuck you.
sam says
Whoever wrote this article is a shallow, arrogant twat!
Gilbert Wham says
Yeah, but on the upside, his spelling has improved no end. Well done Mof. Have a gold star AND a smiley face.
stella says
As usual, the truth that hurts fools.
Stella Kimble says
Who ever wrote this doesn’t know who the band is, what they stand for, who they help, and what they strive to do. They are humble best friends who play to make their lives meaningful and in process they touch many others through their music. They love their fans so much and aren’t trying to please anyone so if anyone doesn’t like them then they are simply listening to other music. And those who are pathetic enough to write a stupid article about them are apparently giving them no less attention. I love Coldplay and by far the very best concert I’ve ever been to. Amazing.