Great news! Michael Jackson’s death trial is going to be on the television! This is very exciting news! Not only will we be able to witness the astonishingly tedious inner-workings of the law, but we’ll also get to see people protesting about stuff they’ve got no idea about!
Yes indeed, our beloved Michael Jackson fans will, with any luck, feature in a split screen, holding their placards aloft and singing ‘Man In The Mirror’ in the cold while demanding justice – provided that justice aligns with the decisions they’ve already made based on half-assed theories discovered online!
All that is left to do now is for the jury to be chosen who will no doubt be hounded by the press and insane devotees of the King Of Pop.
The jury selection is scheduled to begin Thursday and, well, we’ve got no idea how it works in the USofA. We can only assume that, now TV stations are involved, they’ll all be screened to see if they’re attractive enough to sit on a jury for the duration of what promises to be a lengthy court case.
Apparently though, potential jurors will actually be screened in Los Angeles County Superior Court, each asked to submit a completed questionnaire about their knowledge of the case and other issues.
All the while, Dr Conrad Murray is being accused of manslaughter after giving the late singer a fatal dose of propofol. His appearances on screen will mostly be sweat based.
The trial is slated to begin May 9th and Judge Michael Pastor is looking forward to becoming a star of the television for future reruns of round-up shows based on weird court cases.
Murray, meanwhile would like to point out once more:
“Your honor, I am an innocent man”
Just don’t ask him to do CPR, okay?
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Sam says
Let us not forget that michael jackson was a paedophile who paid people to keep his (not very well hidden) secret. mj probably showed that conrad bloke a picture of him filling the home alone boy to the brim with jesus juice and that’s why he killed him. He saved justin bieber from the same fate. FACT.
Abby says
Sam…Shame on you….How dare you say Michael was a paedophile….You are disgusting…Your not worth answering…You make me sick…Your sick mind needs HELP.
Aubrey says
Yeah Sam shame on you – what sort of paedophile would have young boys over for sleepovers and jesus juice……Your(sic) mind needs HELP..and not worth answering twice
Sam says
MJ also stole some white children and pretended that they were his children but probably used them as sex slaves. The proof is in the fact that he was a black man until his face melted and he ended up looking like a broken piece of firelighter or something. I feel so sorry for all the young children who suffered at the hands (penis) of this dispicable peter pan lover. One day culkin will go to therapy and remember all the sick things MJ did to him and then the truth will be out. He also fingered bubbles. FACT.
Abby says
SAM…….May GOD have mercy on you,and forgive you for judgeing an innocent person like Michael…..People like you, are the ones to BLAME that have distroyed Michael’s life…If you know God’s law,instead of judging others,First look at your owen mistakes,that i think you have quite a lot..The way you talk about Michael,tell me,were you there with him,did you see with your owne eye’s,i very much dought it..How can you judge him,if you have never seen him……The only thing i can say to you is…you have all the stuf to be a PAEDOPHILE….You Are Disgusting
ultravioletrae says
totally not funny. humor at a homicide victim’s expense? ignorant accusations by mislead readers? this is over the line. totally out of bounds.
Blighty says
” …provided that justice aligns with the decisions they
Don't forget says
Hey Sam you’re forgetting something that PROVES (apparently if you type in all upper case it becomes FACT in Sammy’s tiny world) the ole MJ was INNOCENT. You see MJ was chemically castrated as a child so he was incapable of anything that most would consider normal for a….well hell no one was quite sure what the hell he was. Actually I eagerly await the trial. Watching Murray sweat thru his 9 pound shirts, the fans outside with their misspelled signs demanding “justice be done” (probably that nutty broad with the pigeons will be there again), and the media running around in a circle jerk should be amusing. Please pass the propofol popcorn with extra butter and propofol. i’ll snack at the beginning of the dull court room “drama” and sleep thru that waking up just in time to catch the nutters.
Britt S says
@Don’t forget
” Please pass the propofol popcorn with extra butter and propofol. i
MLP says
Sam u have some very sick thought…. u scare me….. Do the police know about you ? How ignorant do u sound about Macaulay Culkin…… Your the pervert ……………….
@Britt S says
Na little Brit, just telling the truth. I know you’re not used to it since it is something your idol seemed to rarely do. And are you daft enough to honestly think that ole MJ’s kids don’t already know their dad was a little off his rocker? Murray will get off, that’s what money and the US justice system does. If you can’t stand to read the truth about your “little” hero don’t read the articles. Just stay inside and google you tube endlessly for MJ videos.
Sam says
Now I’ve heard it all! Next you’ll be telling me that jesus was a real person! Actually that’s made me think that maybe mj knew that jesus enjoyed the company of young boys just like him and that’s why he named his rape drink ‘ jesus juice’! Yeah that must be it. This is all making sense now. The only thing that still doesn’t make sense is how a black man can father white children a) if he’s been chemically castrated and b) …umm, what was b again? I can’t remember….
He tried to throw one of his children (slaves) off a balcony! FACT! What a twat!