The bond between a mother and her children is incredibly strong - how else will the kids learn how to forget to put knickers on and have distressing roadside breakdowns in front of the world's media?

That's why it's so important that Britney Spears gets to see her two children. And that's what she's done - after seeing the kids for the first time in two months on Saturday, Britney Spears got to spend time with the children again yesterday.

That's wonderful news - not only will time with her children speed Britney Spears' recovery, but everyone knows that there's no happier time than when two innocent children get to spend quality time with their mentally unwell mother, her father, a court-appointed monitor, a psychologist, a lawyer and one of their father's bodyguards. It'll make quite the Christmas card come December.

Quite often at family weddings, a slightly dotty old lady will come up to you and marvel at how much you've grown even though you haven't got the foggiest who she is.

This weekend, that situation happened to Sean Preston Federline and Jayden James Federline. Except the dotty old lady in question was Britney Spears. Their mother Britney Spears.

That's right - after almost two months of rejection, Britney Spears finally got to see her kids again on Saturday in an emotional reunion. Emotional for a couple of reasons, of course - Britney Spears was brutally reminded how much she'd lost by behaving so oddly over this last year or so and the kids were just a bit freaked out that there was also a jumpy-looking psychiatrist in the room who flinched every time Britney made a sudden movement.

Here's a thing - if you get sectioned for a prolonged stay in a mental hospital, turns out judges aren't that keen on letting you look after children.

That's what Britney Spears discovered yesterday, as the latest stop on her sad merry go round of court hearings ruled that she still isn't allowed to see either of her sons. This means that the last time Britney Spears saw her children was when she locked herself topless in a bathroom with one of them early last month.

Having said that, it's thought that Kevin Federline is doing all he can to get the kids to spend time with Britney Spears again, reportedly because he's fed up with the infants beating him at Simon Says all the time. 

Thanks to her Gravely Disabled classification, we know that Britney Spears was recently unable to feed or dress herself - but boy, can she ever dance!

Britney Spears' long road back to the straight and narrow inched further on Monday, as Britney became a dance instructor for the afternoon. Apparently Britney Spears taught a group of children aged between four and seven her famous dance moves as part of her rehabilitation.

It was a success, too - not only did Britney Spears receive a hug from each of the children at the end of the dance class, but they're also now highly proficient at dancing to True Blue by Madonna, Holiday by Madonna and the thousands of cackling witch voices screaming frighteningly inside Britney Spears' head.

Nigella Lawson and her husband share a wealth of about £110 million, but her kids can piss off if they think they're seeing any of it.

In a recent interview, Nigella Lawson has stated that she's refusing to leave her children any money in her will, because she thinks that rich kids are arseholes and that not earning money "ruins people."

Nigella Lawson married a man worth £100 million and lives in his £7 million Belgravia mansion. And her dad used to be Chancellor Of The Exchequer. We're just saying.

Katie Holmes has slotted in so well to married life with Tom Cruise that Tom's children from his time with Nicole Kidman call her 'Mom' in their allotted thrice-monthly visits to her cage.

Katie Holmes revealed to Parade magazine that Tom's adopted children Isabella, 14, and Connor, 12, refer to her as 'Mom', even though 'very slightly older sister' would have probably been more apt. However, this sudden revelation is bound to upset Nicole Kidman profoundly, especially since she has said that the children now call her 'Nicole' against her wishes. Some have commented that this is all a deliberate ploy by Tom Cruise to turn the kids against Kidman, but we're not so sure - every kid knows the easiest way to get a bigger Christmas present from one divorced parent is pretend that you like the other divorced parent's new partner more than them.

Come on, that's rule number one, people.

The Spice Girls gave something rather special to their audience this week - no, Geri Halliwell didn't do the decent thing and cover herself up for once, but the Spice Girls all brought their children onstage.

During their performance of Mama at the O2 arena in London on Tuesday night, it's been reported that most of the Spice Girls brought their children onstage to say hello to the thousands of buyerless eBay touts who make up their audience these days. In the middle of the song Victoria Beckham, Mel B and Emma Bunton all brought their kids out on stage. In fact, the only Spice Girl mother not to introduce her child to the audience was Geri Halliwell, for fear that the effect of 20,000 people all derisively going "pffft" at the same time after hearing the name Bluebell Madonna would knock over a lighting rig or flip the stage upside down or something.

hecklerspray probably has 10 nightmares a night. The most recent one included us stuck in a jail that was entirely made of fish. It was terrifying until the jailer brought us tartar sauce - then it was scrumptious.

The second most recent night terror we had included Julia Roberts riding a Harley straight out of hell. It looked almost identical to those three Meatloaf album covers actually, except in Roberts' one fist she was clenching the spinal columns of what appeared to be 200 babies, and in the other she was leafing through the script for Pretty Woman II: The Moral Dilemma Of A Hooker In Love. Oh, and she was wearing the cutest pink skirt. Other than that the imagery all looked exactly like Meatloaf's albums.

A few Paparazzi recently got closer to our nightmares than we would ever hope to be. Morgan Freeman jumped on their car and started hosing them with a Super Soaker full of that black stuff from a smoker's lung. Wait - no that was our third to last dream. It's always celebrity something or other. What happened to those camera flashers was a fraction less disease-encrusted but equally scary.

They got chased down by an angry arm-waving horn-honking Julia Roberts.