Nicole Kidman isn’t famous for much, but we can almost certainly all agree that her most famous roles were in BMX Bandits and that perfume advert where she garbled “I’m a daaaahncer! I love to dahnce!” with that one-night stand who wore a vest and had greasy hair. The hussy.
Anyway, in real life, she’s The Woman Who Escaped The Thetans and now, someone who has brought another future disappointment into the world aka a baby human being.
Kidman and her country warbling husband, Keith Urban, have announced that they are now parents of a new baby daughter. A daughter that was born with a surrogate for some reason. We can’t be bothered to find out why, so we’ll just assume that it is down to laziness.
Of course, because this is a famous child, it has to have a stupid name. Over to the blank eyes and beaming smiles of the couple themselves:
“Our family is truly blessed, and just so thankful, to have been given the gift of baby Faith Margaret”
“No words can adequately convey the incredible gratitude that we feel for everyone who was so supportive throughout this process, in particular our gestational carrier.”
Ah! The romance of it all! Mother! Father! Daughter! Gestational carrier! What? Wait a minute! Could they not have said “…and a big thanks to Kath who carried this child for us. To her, we’re eternally grateful. We’ll send her a Christmas card ever year… ’til we forget who she is,” or something?
Kidman and Urban got married in 2006 and have another daughter together called Sunday Rose, which is also a really stupid name.
Here’s hoping the next one has a similarly daft name like Bendy Skateboard or Slippery Tarantula or something.
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VHSNS says
Jesus, you had to think a lot to write this incredible amount of hate and malice. What do you think to take life with a smile and spit out less hate from your mouth?
Lily says
“Nicole Kidman isn
NoH8 says
God, bitter much? Heckling is one thing; being retarded is another. You’re really not funny.
dave says
Do these other people leaving comments visit this site often? Because if they do then they are selective about what they get worked up over as in “Teasing the Bieber is fine but don’t dare say a word about Nicole Kidman!!”, either that or they’re first time visitors and probably don’t get that this is what this place is all about and its not going to change just because you had a sook, if anything its just encouragement. Whatever the reason in the end the joke is really on these idiots having a cry.
Wemissstuartbringhimback says
Bendy Skateboard is a GREAT name, I think I may well have to get in there first and baggsie it for my first born.
Sher says
Faith Urban. Nice. I have to wonder however if any thought was given to the initial letters of the name.