Lindsay Lohan will now be discovering that leaving rehab after an extended stay can be an emotionally traumatic time – but luckily someone has realised this and is now threatening to blast naked Lindsay Lohan photos across the internet.
A hacker has reportedly stolen a batch of naked Lindsay Lohan photos from Lindsay's computer and is now threatening to publish them online unless Lindsay Lohan doesn't do something, like stop acting in so many bad films or stop being such an obnoxious attention-whore all the time or something. Like most of you, we're in two minds about this whole situation. On one hand, naked Lindsay Lohan photos would force Lindsay to accept her lot in life and accelerate her inevitable entry into the lucrative erotic thriller market – but on the other hand, naked Lindsay Lohan photos? That means ginger pubes. Urgh.
And you thought that Lindsay Lohan was going to be on the straight and narrow after being released from rehab, didn't you. You thought that Lindsay Lohan's acceptance of her old addictions and subsequent decision to join an extended rehab outpatient service would mean that you'd never hear another ridiculous story about how much Lindsay Lohan wants to shoot Iraqis, didn't you. And, admit it, the thought made you a little sad inside.
Well be sad no more, because – although Lindsay Lohan may not sit next to drugs or crash her car on drugs or be full of drugs or be full of other drugs or want to kill herself anymore – at least Lindsay Lohan is still able to leave her computer hackable enough for people to steal all kinds of naked Lindsay Lohan photos from her and then threaten to publish them on the internet for everyone to gawp at, thus ensuring that Lindsay Lohan remains a bigger story than any films Lindsay Lohan will ever be in. Stuff reports:
The Mean Girls actress has been left fuming after a computer hacker stole racy pictures taken of her by on/off lover Calum Best. Lindsay wrote on her internet message board: "All I know is that someone broke into my computer and left a file on my desktop saying they had the pictures Calum took of me naked. My lawyer knows about it. If I ever found out who broke into my computer, he is in big shit."
Obviously it's important that these naked Lindsay Lohan photos don't get put online because, like Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo, Lindsay Lohan thinks the publication of her naked photos will destroy her career much in the same way that nobody ever heard of Paris Hilton again after her 2004 sex tape went online.
You read that right, by the way. Lindsay Lohan thinks that naked photos of herself will destroy her career. That'd be the same naked Lindsay Lohan who has already been plastered all over magazine covers, the same naked Lindsay Lohan who plays a stripper in her new film and the same naked Lindsay Lohan who has previously shown her minge [link fairly NSFW and somewhat stomach-churning] to the entire world several times already. With this in mind, we assume that Lindsay Lohan is so against the naked photos because she doesn't want people to see the outline of her L5 vertebrae, which stays private because Lindsay Lohan thinks it's important to keep something back for herself.