It's never pretty when celebrities show an interest in politics, is it? The gap between acting in a film about a magic car and quelling global conflicts is insurmountably huge – well, unless you're Lindsay Lohan.
Because Lindsay Lohan isn't the staggeringly self-regarding party girl that you think she is. In reality, Lindsay Lohan is a woman who feels the pain of the world and reacts to it with the calm vision of a global statesman. Or, in other words, Lindsay Lohan told Elle magazine that she feels like going and singing some songs at the soldiers in Iraq. And if she gets to shoot a couple of Iraqis while she's at it, more the better.
It's bad enough when musicians start to get heavily involved in changing the world – look at Bono, who cares about the planet until he needs to spend thousands of dollars flying his best hat to whatever country he's in – but actors… actors are the worst. Actors think that they're saving the world because the movie they're getting paid millions of dollars to be in has a nasty politician character in it. Just for the record, Lindsay Lohan is a singer and an actor.
And the things that Lindsay Lohan has been getting up to lately don't exactly scream 'conscientious deep thinker', either. Unless you count pretending to be dehydrated until her boss gave her a bollocking as conscientious. Or possibly doing it with one of McFly. Or inventing the word 'misconstructed' when a magazine printed an interview about her struggle with bulimia and drugs. And we kind of don't. But Lindsay Lohan wants to be taken seriously from now on, as she tells Elle magazine:
"Hollywood is about reality-show stars, taking people's boyfriends and tabloids making up stories, and not about the work and the art, the craft. Stop writing about me and start writing about how people are dying overseas for our country."
Uh-oh. Now, we'd imagine that Lindsay Lohan would probably have a total breakdown if people stopped writing about her altogether – where else would she get to air her hamfisted attempts at appearing clever and deep – so little Lindsay Lohan has come up with a bit of a compromise. She wants to help out the war effort in Iraq, and she wants to do it by singing the song about how her daddy doesn't love her at the soldiers over there. Or at least she wanted too, until she realised that it'd probably be quite dangerous:
"I wanted to do what Marilyn Monroe did, when she went and just set up a stage and did a concert for the troops all by herself. It's so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who's basically a pinup, which is what I've always aspired to be."
We have to agree wholeheartedly with Lindsay Lohan here. It really is amazing seeing a woman just going somewhere. And we're sure it probably helps stop the war every time a woman just goes somewhere. Anyway, Lindsay Lohan might have something of an ulterior motive in wanting to go to Iraq – she wants to shoot a bunch of those Iraqis who're a bit pissed off about having their country invaded, too:
"I'm not afraid of going. My security guard is going to take me to a gun range when I get back to L.A., and I'm going to start taking shooting lessons. He says if I'm going to go there I should really know how to shoot. Yeah, I have a dark side."
Can we have the Herbie Lindsay Lohan back, please? We like our starlets stupid and innocent, not stupid and armed.
[story by Stuart Heritage]