Bono Spends Thousands On Transporting Hat

U2 frontman Bono has a lot on his mind.

He’s so goshdarn busy – what with trying to save the world and singing formulaic songs in iPod adverts – that he occasionally puts his hat down and forgets to take it with him when he leaves.

"But wait," we hear you cry, "how will Bono keep his rakish flamboyant air without his hat? What will he do? What, for Christ’s sake? WHAT???"

Not to worry. Because (according to an American newspaper) Bono – who wants you to cut back on the odd luxury and give all your money to the poor, remember – is more than prepared to spend $1,700 on flying his favourite bit of headgear from London to Italy.

First class, no less.

Quite why someone would need to do this remains a mystery to hecklerspray. Although we would dearly like to see Bono (CDs) issue some sort of explanatory statement. Preferably while surrounded by a bunch of starving street children who would crawl naked through broken glass for even a fiftieth of the food U2 shove onto their nightly rider.

Still – we hope the hat had a lovely flight.

Oh… and we also hope that the U2 warbler suddenly has a moment of fevered self-realisation, reels back in horror at the pompous overblown hypocrite he has become, before scurrying off to live at the peak of the highest nearby mountain, never to spew his arsebrained sixth-form politics drivel into the world again.

Then he’d be Man Of The Year.

Read More:

Hat’s Entertainment  E! Online

[story by C J Davies]


  1. juliana says

    that hat story is old news… it was confirmed to be false a long time ago.. And i don’t understand why so much hathred towards the man who’s trying his best to do good to the world? we should follow him! not write this kind of non-sense.

  2. rupe says

    A perfect example of classic misrepresentation: Point out the one tiny flaw so as to discredit your opponent’s entirely legitimate argument.
    Yes, Juliana should perhaps have checked her spelling (or typing), but her point was valid.
    That story is ancient, and was proven false years ago. It did not happen. It’s only been exhumed now, I presume, because someone wants to discredit an individual who, by all accounts, is a pretty decent person (at least).
    So where does HecklerSpray (sounds like something contageous) get its “news”? From ancient and frequently debunked tabloid gossip sources? Well done!

  3. Mary Anne says

    I would follow Bono anywhere he cared to lead me….would have to be better than the path the USA is on right now.

  4. richard says

    Dear Halia: Bono is no Lennon. Bono is not talented. Lennon was murdered by an obsessive fan, not a jealous fan.
    Bono is Lucky. Like Kylie Minogue lucky. Like Nick Cave lucky.
    Lennon was not a pretender to any kind of throne, like the above.
    It is nice and noble that his lordship Bono is using his wealth to help starving children.