He’s so goshdarn busy – what with trying to save the world and singing formulaic songs in iPod adverts – that he occasionally puts his hat down and forgets to take it with him when he leaves.
"But wait," we hear you cry, "how will Bono keep his rakish flamboyant air without his hat? What will he do? What, for Christ’s sake? WHAT???"
Not to worry. Because (according to an American newspaper) Bono – who wants you to cut back on the odd luxury and give all your money to the poor, remember – is more than prepared to spend $1,700 on flying his favourite bit of headgear from London to Italy.
First class, no less.
Quite why someone would need to do this remains a mystery to hecklerspray. Although we would dearly like to see Bono (CDs) issue some sort of explanatory statement. Preferably while surrounded by a bunch of starving street children who would crawl naked through broken glass for even a fiftieth of the food U2 shove onto their nightly rider.
Still – we hope the hat had a lovely flight.
Oh… and we also hope that the U2 warbler suddenly has a moment of fevered self-realisation, reels back in horror at the pompous overblown hypocrite he has become, before scurrying off to live at the peak of the highest nearby mountain, never to spew his arsebrained sixth-form politics drivel into the world again.
Then he’d be Man Of The Year.
[story by C J Davies]