Britney Spears Sorry For Making You Gawp At Her Vagina

Over these last couple of weeks Britney Spears seems to have been doing a pretty good impression of a woman going mental with freedom - a woman going mental with freedom that wants you to only look at pictures of her ladyflaps.

We sort of get the feeling that during all this Britney Spears wanted the public to see a newly-single girl going out and having the social life that her waster husband cruelly withheld from her during their marriage, but what actually happened was that roughly everyone in the world thought this: "Britney Spears hanging out with Paris Hilton? That can't be a good ide… oh JESUS NO! What's THAT? MY EYES! MY EYES! Britney, for the love of baby Jesus would you cover your minge up! Cover your minge up for your children, Britney!" And now, sensing that the world has become well and truly bored with looking at pictures of her tumpsy, Britney Spears has written a letter of apology on her website.

Britney Spears used to be so harmless, didn't she? A virgin until marriage she said. Deeply religious. Back then, all we had to worry about was Britney Spears foolishly appearing on rubbish sitcoms or - at the very worst - endangering the life of her first-born child with a car and then a hard piece of kitchen flooring. But lately, from even before she split up with Kevin Federline, a creeping sexualisation has been happening to Britney Spears.

We can take naked pregnant magazine pictures of Britney Spears - even if they freak Japan out a bit - and the rumours of a Britney Spears sex tape were fun for a while until we realised that it probably different exist, but the breaking point of common decency was found last week when Britney Spears flashed her vagina around like a catherine wheel every time she got near a camera. The knock-on effects were instant - fans flooded Britney's MySpace page with message of concern and disgust, and the child welfare squad almost got in on the act, too. So now Britney Spears has taken the matter into her own hands - she's written an apology of sorts and posted it on her website:

“It’s been so long since I’ve been out on the town with friends. It’s also been 2 years since I’ve even celebrated my birthday. Every move I make at this point has been magnified more than I expected, and I probably did take my new found freedom a little too far. Anyway, thank God for Victoria’s Secrets’ new underwear line! I look forward to a new year, new music and a new me.”

We have to admit we're a little disappointed in Britney Spears here. Not because she's promised to put her vagina away - we were considering lobotomising ourselves on a bathroom sink if we ever saw that again - but because her apology is so dull. Remember when Britney Spears used to write lunatic poems about how much of a nobsack Kevin Federline is on her website? We want more of that, not sheepish admissions of over-exuberance. If Lindsay Lohan can demand help from Al Gore in text messages and all Britney can do is write "sorry, I'll wear more knickers" on a website, we might start hanging out with her instead. And Paris Hilton isn't going to like that much, is she?

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Britney says she went 'too far' with partying - MSNBC