Justin Bieber Is Set To Implode, Beliebers Try To Beat Him To It

Justin Bieber in troubleJustin Bieber is drinking, smoking, and living up the newly single life as any red-blooded 18-year-old multimillionaire pop star would. And yet, somehow, the only people who appear to be shocked by his actions are the ones that claim to know him the best.

An overreacting legion of fans, who refer to themselves as “Beliebers,” have taken their fanatical stunts to the next level by turning on one another, and even themselves, in what seems to be a race to the bottom with the soon-to-be rehab-bound teen god.

20 Easy Ways To Use Instagram Like A Celeb

kim-kardashian-instagramBetween all of the style shoots, press tours, photo ops with fans, and armies of insatiable paparazzi chasing them down, you’d think celebs would tire of a camera constantly being in their face. However, to assume that would be to ignore the main draw of why one opts to become a star at all—complete and utter narcissism.

Despite the countless tirades and sometimes physical altercations that occur when a celebrity’s picture is snapped, most of Hollywood’s elite seem to have no issue capturing their own private and “candid” moments, which they, in turn, share with the same viewing public. It’s as true sign as any that we are in the golden age of vanity– a Kardashian-esque pandemic of sorts– and what better tool is there to feed the ego than Instagram?

5 Reasons Why Halle Berry Can’t Keep A Man

Halle Berry hot Halle Berry is possibly one of, if not the most beautiful woman on the planet. She managed to be named Esquire magazine’s “Sexiest Woman Alive” even at age 42 and after just having had a child. If that’s not timeless beauty, I don’t know what is.

Not only that, she also is one of the most talented women in Hollywood. She has an Emmy, Golden Globe, SAG, NAACP Image Award, and was the first and only woman of African American descent to win an Academy Award for Best Actress.

Yet, somehow, despite all of this, she can’t seem to keep a man. Neither marriage papers nor a child can prevent the men in her life from running the hell away. But why?

A Day In The Life Of Chris Brown, Gentleman Extraordinaire

Chris Brown It seems like every once in a while a celeb will have their phone stolen, computer hacked, or questionable pictures leaked, setting up for the complete obliteration of said celebrity. What always follows is an internet frenzy as the message board trolls rifle through the dirty laundry of a newly fallen star, creating memes and parody twitter accounts from the safety of their parents’ basement.

But what if there were a star that was so open with all of his indiscretions that there would be literally nothing shocking about finding out any of those things? What if I were to tell you that I could pretty much layout Chris Brown’s day-to-day activities and that I could almost guarantee there would be nothing that would surprise or shock you.

Christina Aguilera Is Fat And Doesn’t Care, So You Should Just Get Over It

Christina Aguilera has gotten straight up fat—not curvy, thick, or big boned, but more so a “I brush my teeth with gravy” kinda fat– and the best part about is that she cares about as much as the Kardashians care about their privacy, which is about -200 percent.

And why should she? She’s already a name for herself and it’s been her voice, not her body, which has been, and will continue to be, her moneymaker. Sure, she had to rub us the right way in her younger days, but the little girl with the big voice vs. the big girl with the big voice currently trades for the same market value—see: Adele. Big girls are rocking it without excuse or comment, and it’s about damn time.

Hayden Panettiere’s 4-point Plan To Everlasting Fame

If you said landing a commercial at 11 months, scoring a soap gig by age 5, and having pretty steady work for almost the next 18 years sounds like someone who has the wits to hang in show biz for a long time, I’d ask if you ever heard of a farcical freckled ginger with a penchant for Pepsi’s main competitor and a habit of wrecking sports cars.

“Ah, but it’s not LiLo I’m talking about,” you’d smugly reply. “I’m talking about the world’s most popular cheerleading dwarf, Hayden Panettiere!” And I’d probably spend the next 10 minutes envisioning ways I could poison your food and ensure a slow but painful death for making me look like an ass in the lede of my story.

The Evils of Carly Rae Jepsen Cannot be Undone

With summer officially over and everything associated with it slowly fading from memory, it’s only right that before we set our sights forward to the future, we take a quick look back and pay our respects to everything that was destroyed in the wake of “The Summer of Call Me Maybe.”

Grammatical rules desecrated. Mediocrity celebrated. Brain cells lost forever. Carly Rae Jepsen might not have known the evil she would unleash on the world in the name of a quick sniff of fame, but we will all remember– we will never forget.

Shakira Isn’t An International Superstar, Just a Sellout

I always knew people loved to throw around the label “international superstar,” I just never knew people actually bought into the hyperbole, both figuratively and literally.

While Shakira did manage to bleach her tresses blonde enough and drop her standards low enough to momentarily capture the attention of the American public—which I’m guessing granted her “international” status (superstardom to be discussed later)– it’s beyond me how at this point she can get a check for $12 million to appear as a coach on The Voice. Yes, how the woman whose top Google searches list that she sounds like “a goat,” “a frog,” and “Kermit” is getting paid to teach others to sing is either capitalism or ignorance at its best. Or perhaps a bit of both.

10 Stupid Celebrity Quotes That Will Insult Your Intelligence

Celebrities serve a very specific purpose in our society: to look, on average, better than us commoners, to have some discernable talent or claim to fame to keep us entertained (even if that talent involves a sex tape or fame comes from birthing eight children at once), and to talk enough so that we can bask in the glory of how stupid they can be. And if there is one thing they excel at, it’s definitely the latter of the three.

Everyone says stupid things every now and then (except me, of course), but there is something so satisfying about catching a star in a mind-numbingly idiotic unscripted moment. I like to think of it as celebrities without makeup, but for the intellect. And lemme tell ya, there’s some ugly-ass brains in tinseltown.

Kanye West’s 10 Step Guide to Being Cool and Awesome

They say everyone likes a winner and nobody likes a whiner, but, somehow, despite batting 0-for-2 on the likability scale, Kanye West is still a dominant name in pop culture.

Wouldn’t it be awesome to know how to defy common courtesy and get away with being a total douchebag while not suffering any of the consequences? Luckily for you, I’ve come up with a simple 10 step guide to help you get Kanye-fied. I just ask that you let me finish before you break into character.