Justin Bieber Is Set To Implode, Beliebers Try To Beat Him To It

Justin Bieber in troubleJustin Bieber is drinking, smoking, and living up the newly single life as any red-blooded 18-year-old multimillionaire pop star would. And yet, somehow, the only people who appear to be shocked by his actions are the ones that claim to know him the best.

An overreacting legion of fans, who refer to themselves as ?Beliebers,? have taken their fanatical stunts to the next level by turning on one another, and even themselves, in what seems to be a race to the bottom with the soon-to-be rehab-bound teen god.

But isn?t crashing and burning expected of child stars? The higher they fly, the greater the fall. Judging from where Bieber currently stands, it?s a long way to the bottom.

Are the physics of gravity lost on Justin?s youthfully ignorant fan base, or do they simply think Newton omitted the Canuck from the universal law?

Allegations against the Biebs by his former bodyguard Moshe Benabou, which entail verbal and physical assault from the pint-sized pop prince, is just another early warning sign of Bieber?s impending self-implosion. Getting pictured with pot should be the least of the Beliebers? worries?if anything, smoking should mellow him out.

But, instead, Beliebers took it upon themselves to get #CutForBieber, a hashtag created by pranksters poking fun at the misguided dedication of Bieber fans, to trend globally in an effort to get the star to stop smoking. Accompanied by three fake photos, Twitter analytics by Topsy showed Beliebers had retweeted the crazy hashtag more than 350,000 times in less than 12 hours.

#CutForBieber twitter

?Yes, you read that correctly. ?If you smoke, we?ll cut ourselves? albeit the wrong way as per just to cry for attention but not actually die? yet? was the terrifyingly insane message they wanted to convey. They didn?t think of it (notice the use of ?for? vs. ?4?), but they fell for it.

And fantastically I might add.

So, while naivety might just come with the territory of loving a kid who couldn?t pull a solid 7 based on his girlish frame and ill-advised wardrobe without the money or fame to back it up, I?m still trying to figure out where the propensity for violence, and more pertinently killing, fits into the Bieber brand. He sings about love and stuff, no?

Beliebers have a history of using social media to send out all kinds of grammatically incorrect death threats to whomever they feel is a threat to them. Or to their Justin. Or to their chances with Justin (see: Selena Gomez needs extra security).

Justin Bieber high

As the Biebs took his first step closer to needing rehab hospitalization due to exhaustion with his now public recreational use of the gateway drug, Beliebers did the unthinkable and turned on one of their own.

Belgian lookalike and self-proclaimed Belieber, Robin Verrecas, was thrown under the proverbial bus by fellow Biebs fanatics in an effort to clear the pop star?s name. They claim that the photos aren?t of their idol, but rather just his doppelganger.


Probably new to the cannibalism game, Verrecas frantically tried to clear his name, insisting he?d never do this as a true fan and begged for Justin to clear things up so he?d be free of the scathing remarks.

Justin Bieber Victoria's Secret backstage


The Biebs, probably high somewhere with a Victoria?s Secret model on his lap, was apparently unable to respond to his request. He will, however, be able to go make fun of the scandal on an upcoming episode of Saturday Night Live.

Kinda sounds reminiscent of a 19-year-old starlet named Lindsay Lohan who went on SNL back in 2006 to ?smooth things over? and ham it up about her suddenly turned tumultuous private life.

What happened to her again? Oh, right.

At least we know Beliebers will feel rock bottom first, and being the awesome fans they are, they?ll let Justin know how it is.


  1. Jay says

    Finally a well written article….or should I say, “finally, someone not paid by the bieber con team to plant false information/profiles/followers/tweets”. Beiber is the con king of the net. He has his youtube videos on auto refresh. That is #douchebaggy….far from swaggy.