Christina Aguilera has gotten straight up fat?not curvy, thick, or big boned, but more so a ?I brush my teeth with gravy? kinda fat– and the best part about is that she cares about as much as the Kardashians care about their privacy, which is about -200 percent.
And why should she? She?s already a name for herself and it?s been her voice, not her body, which has been, and will continue to be, her moneymaker. Sure, she had to rub us the right way in her younger days, but the little girl with the big voice vs. the big girl with the big voice currently trades for the same market value?see: Adele. Big girls are rocking it without excuse or comment, and it’s about damn time.
No, you won?t see Aguilera trying to sign a deal to be the face of Weight Watchers a la Jessica Simpson. You won?t see her getting self-righteous and stuffing herself in an old pair of assless chaps from her dirrrty days on a daytime TV show and telling the nation to kiss her fat ass. She?s not looking for pity or support, she?s not trying to connect with or empower the ?average? female; Aguilera is still every bit the fabulous diva she?s always been, there?s just more diva to go around now.
The only people concerned with her weight gain is the public, her seamstress (maybe more the seams themselves), and probably her doctor. I?ll go ahead and prepare a response for each on behalf of Xtina since she?s too busy counting her money she?s pulling in regardless of what the scale says:
To whom it may concern:
Enclosed in this empty envelope is all the fucks I give.
Sure, she might look like she ate her former self whole, something which might have set off an allergic reaction and caused her face to inflate like a hot air balloon, but girlfriend ain?t gotta sweat a thaaaaang in her personal or professional life.
Regarding her personal life: A. Men love booty. B. Even if it?s too much booty, there?s always the chubby chasers. C. She?s got enough money and fame that she?s reached that rare status for a female where she gets whichever aspiring model/actor/dancer she wants anyway.
Look at Madonna. She looks like she?s about 30 years past dead and she can pull 20-something hot ass. Gold diggers, male or female, don?t see age or weight, they see dollar signs. Plus, they probably keep in mind that Aguilera might come down with the flu and lose some weight, whereas they know you can?t bring back a milk past its expiration date. I hope she backs that ass up into some man stealing adventures to make some starving starlets hate their life that much more. Work it if you got it, sista.
As for her professional life, as I?d mentioned before, her pipes pay the bills. She can lean up, blow up, paint her skin blue and rock out as a smurf but none of it will have the affect on her career that everyone seems to think.
Now, say, if Megan Fox will let herself go like Aguilera, she?ll be as forgettable as her personality. The only thing that girl really has is a hot body (or had? Who knows what the baby did to her).
Without talent or any amount of likability, appearance is a top concern. But for Aguilera, this is almost a power move. She?s giving the middle finger to the whole entertainment industry by staying relevant even as she breaks all the societal norms for females in her position. She?s not doing it to prove a point, she?s not apologizing for it, and fuck empowering the masses– she wants cheese sauce on her wings because that?s what she wants, and diva gets what diva wants.
Christina Aguilera is quite literally having her cake and eating it too. If you?re inspired or disgusted, she couldn?t care less, because it’s red velvet with cream cheese icing and she’ll be damned if she let’s you wreck it for her.