Tom Cruise is no stranger to danger – not only did he do his own stunts in Mission: Impossible III but he also had to kiss Renee Zellweger's face in Jerry Maguire – but this time the only people in danger are Tom Cruise's extras.
Tom Cruise is currently in Germany filming Valkyrie, the real-life story about how Tom Cruise tried to kill Hitler in World War II with a bomb, a briefcase and a bucketload of intensely insincere-seeming grinning enthusiasm, but all isn't going well. In the latest of Valkyrie mishaps, the back of a Nazi van popped open during filming, causing 11 extras to tumble out and injure themselves, with one apparently needing to remain in hospital for treatment. Fortunately Tom Cruise wasn't involved in the Valkyrie accident, which will at least spare us a 45-minute extra entitled Tom Cruise Falls Off The Back Of A Van Then Explains Why He's So Brave And Wonderful when Valkyrie is released on DVD.
Personal limitations mean nothing to Tom Cruise, because Tom Cruise has it all – a terrified, silent wife, a near-mythic baby and a religion that actually considers Tom Cruise to be Jesus – and yet he still wants more. Tom Cruise wants a successful movie career again, you see, after his demented behaviour scuppered Mission: Impossible III and got him sacked from Paramount. Thing is, though, Tom Cruise is having a bit of trouble making his big comeback.
Sure, Tom Cruise has already made Lions For Lambs, a Robert Redford-directed political drama, but not a single person on the face of the Earth is in any rush to go and see that. So instead, Tom Cruise's big comeback will be next summer's blockbuster Hitler movie Valkyrie, where Tom Cruise will play untouchable German hero Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, the brains behind a failed attempt to assassinate Adolf Hitler during World War II. However, Germany has banned Tom Cruise from filming Valkyrie at any real-life locations – ostensibly because he's a crazy Scientologist – and members of the German church have called Tom Cruise 'the Goebbels of Scientology'. Plus, if that wasn't enough, the family of Claus von Stauffenberg are none too jazzed about having their father played by a yelping American midget with a fondness for placenta, either.
And now things have got even worse, as it's been revealed that the back of a speeding van popped open during the filming of Valkyrie this weekend, injuring 11 extras. E! Online reports:
Eleven extras were injured Sunday when they fell off the back of a German army truck while filming a scene for Valkyrie in central Berlin, officials said. The truck was reportedly rounding a corner when the back panel flew open, sending its passengers flying. Police said a bolt apparently came loose, causing the wooden slats across the back to dislodge. One individual remained in the hospital after the accident; the others were treated and released. "No one suffered anything more serious than cuts and bruises, though one of the extras was kept in the hospital overnight for observation," United Artists said in a statement Monday.
So at least we know what that $500 million that Tom Cruise raised for United Artists last week is for – paying off 11 sets of no win no fee compensation lawyers. And anyway, cuts and bruises are just a small price to pay in exchange for the honour of working on a movie about Tom Cruise being the braved one-eyed German in the world. Besides, it could have been worse – just ask the stuntman who burnt his penis off for Mission: Impossible III.
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Koshlan Mayer-Blackwell says
Might be worth hearing what Tom Cruise has to say about the accident. He sounded off earlier today.
http://www.newsgroper.com/tom-cruise/2007/08/21/real-nazi-complain-head-trauma/