Remember when Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had their baby, Suri Cruise? Well you probably think you do, but you haven't actually seen Suri Cruise with your own eyes, have you? It's OK, though – nor has anyone else.
Such is the general panic about nobody seeing little Suri Cruise that people are actually starting to suggest that Suri Cruise was nothing but an invention of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to help promote Mission: Impossible III – after all, if Tom Cruise is crazy enough to jump on a sofa, he's crazy enough to mastermind the fabrication of an entire human being, right? Things have got so out of hand that a website has somehow obtained a copy of Suri Cruise's birth certificate just to shut the doubters up.
To show how weird it is that nobody has actually clapped eyes on Tom Cruise's newborn daughter, let's compare and contrast with the only other celebrity baby of comparable stature – Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. Shiloh Nouvel has been on the cover of a magazine, Suri Cruise hasn't. Shiloh Nouvel is having a film made about her, Suri Cruise isn't. Shiloh Nouvel has made her dad a great American, Suri Cruise has probably done the opposite.
Nobody has seen Suri Cruise since she was born in April – if reports are true, not even Will Smith has seen her – and some quarters were starting to believe that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes invented the birth of Suri just to zap up publicity for Mission: Impossible III. And, looked at cynically, all of the film's promotion did seem to revolve around Suri – from the silent birth to the eating of the placenta. In fact, remove Suri from Tom Cruise's Mission: Impossible III promotion and you're left with a boat ride and a stuntman with a burnt pecker.
So you can see why some people might not believe that Suri is anything other than an illusion, but TMZ.com has put that notion to bed by obtaining a copy of Suri Cruise's birth certificate, filed with the Los Angeles County Register-Recorder/ County Clerk on May 8. That's 20 days after Suri was born – 10 days later than is usually expected. A spokesperson for St. John's Hospital says that the certificate was not registered earlier because the parents or a representative for the parents didn't sign the certificate. The final signature is reportedly labelled 'friend'.
Also, the "Attendant or Certifier" who signed the certificate wasn't actually in the delivery room during the birth. But, even though it looks like neither Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes or anyone who has actually seen Suri Cruise has signed the birth certificate, Suri Cruise probably does exist.
Hey, we haven't seen Woody Harrelson's baby yet either. Let's get him next.
[story by Stuart Heritage]