Remember the days when you used to slide around on the hardwood floor in your undies and socks to some good old rock and roll without a care in the world? Those were good times. Good times.
Nowadays, if you’re anything like us, you can’t go anywhere without frightening children with a freakishly huge smile and slapping every vulnerable celebrity with a Church of Scientology coupon that allows you to get your first auditing for half off. We bet Tom Cruise knows how we feel, too, because he’s getting a bunch of heat from the German Protestant Church who feel that Tom Cruise is using his fame as a platform for his church while filming his latest movie in Germany. We’re talking about The Church of Scientology, people, and if you don’t know that already then our years of listless blogging efforts have just failed miserably.
Basically, the German Protestant Church is not happy that Tom Cruise is filming his upcoming film Valkyrie in their country. Why? It appears the German Protestant Church thinks the movie will somehow turn from a story about someone attempting to assassinate Adolf Hitler in World War II into a Scientology fest of anti-depressant burning, or something. Call us crazy, but seeing Tom Cruise in a military outfit that emphasises his child-bearing hips makes it hard for us to see him as being a threat to anything other than our tolerance of Tom Cruise, but that’s just us.
We know it’s shocking to imagine anyone not being taken in by Tom Cruise’s warm, inviting, tolerant attitude. Just ask Brooke Shields and Matt Lauer. However, Thomas Gandow, chief spokesman on religious cults for the German Protestant Church has compared Tom Cruise to the Nazi propaganda minister known as Joseph Goebbels, calling Cruise the “Goebbels of Scientology” and citing that Scientology is a “totalitarian organisation” whose actions are reminiscent of Nazi propaganda from the 1930s.
Well, according to Tom Cruise’s people, them’s fightin’ words, because they struck back with the following response:
“Mr. Gandow's comments are both irresponsible and wrongheaded. ‘Valkyrie’ has nothing to do with Scientology. … To attempt to smear such a movie by comparing it to Nazi propaganda flies in the face of reason and logic — and even worse, it belittles the enormity of the Nazis’ crimes."
Despite the fact that there were, like, five words we had to look up in that quote to understand it, there doesn’t seem to be any legal action on the horizon, but it’ll be fun to wait and see if the German Protestant Church implies that Tom Cruise is gay. That’s when the lawsuits will the fan.
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frank says
I always had him down as the Hess of Scientology.