You'd have thought that everyone got so sick of hearing about the Tom Cruise/ Katie Holmes wedding last year that even the merest mention of it now would set the public off into all kinds of frightening involuntary convulsions.
But try telling that to David Hans Schmidt, who's just been arrested for trying to extort more than $1 million from Tom Cruise in return for him not publishing his stolen wedding photos to the world. Tom Cruise's people contacted the FBI and the arrest was made on Tuesday, further proof that you don't mess with Tom Cruise unless you want an angry midget getting the police on you. But, really, photos of Tom Cruise's wedding? Not only did that happen so long ago that everyone's stopped caring, but it was such a media-saturated event that everyone already knows everything anyway. Unless David Hans Schmidt had photos of Katie Holmes being transported to the wedding in a tiny veal cage with mascara running down her face, of course. Because they'd probably be worth a million dollars.
Despite him not having a film out for the foreseeable future, Tom Cruise has been all over the place. If Tom Cruise hasn't been hosting swanky David Beckham parties in art galleries then he's being banned from Germany by people calling him 'the Goebbels of Scientology' which is just plain weird – everyone knows that Tom Cruise is the Jesus Christ of Scientology.
But this renewed Tom Cruise attention isn't all good – because when you're in the public eye, there's always someone trying to extort a million dollars out of you with photos of your wedding. That's what David Hans Schmidt had been apparently trying to do anyway, and Tom Cruise jolly well made sure he got arrested for it. But David Hans Schmidt? Haven't we heard that name before?
Why yes we have. It was David Hans Schmidt who tried to sell naked pictures of Marcia Cross last year and who wrongheadedly assumed that a tape of Screech from Saved By The Bell wiping his shit-covered fingers across a girl's face would make him rich. Unsurprisingly it didn't, so David Hans Schmidt took the game to the next level – trying to extort Tom Cruise with photos of his own wedding. ABC reports:
An Arizona man who allegedly demanded more than $1 million not to publish Tom Cruise's stolen wedding photographs has been arrested, the actor's lawyer said Thursday. David Hans Schmidt, known for brokering deals involving compromising celebrity photos and videos, approached Cruise's representatives about six weeks ago with photos from the actor's Italian wedding last year to Katie Holmes, attorney Bertram Fields said. The FBI was contacted. "He was looking for money, lots of money," Fields said.
Since the FBI is involved with the arrest, all we know is that Schmidt is being held in a Los Angeles detention centre and has a $100,000 bond. It's not known, for example, where or how he obtained the photos of the Tom Cruise wedding. Or why, in fact, since everyone covered the Tom Cruise wedding in such forensic detail last year that there can't be much that we don't know about it.
However, as good as it is that Tom Cruise and the FBI have proved that you can't hold someone to ransom, a tiny part of us would have liked to see these Tom Cruise wedding pictures anyway. Admit it, who wouldn't want to see even more photos of Victoria Beckham pouting like her life depended on it in a stupid hat? Or of Andrea Bocelli wondering what's going on? Or of Oprah Winfrey trying to secretly scale the walls? Or of a group of Scientologists in white coats injecting a terrified Katie Holmes with Tizanidine to stop her struggling so much before the ceremony.
If any of that happened, of course. Legally, we should point out that none of it probably did. Apart from the Victoria Beckham bit, the moron.
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Kippertron says
I read somewhere that he stole THOUSANDS of Tom Cruise’s photos, from his wedding and reception. Whichever way you look at it, that’s a lot of white-man overbite
hannah says
The thing is that holmes was totally drunk at the wedding and Tom had to carry her all the way, to the car and stuff. She throw up !
There is one picture on the katieholmes.com fansite. check it out.
sarah says
He would surely have made tom bankrupt!!