Hey there, creepy voyeurs! Ever wanted to see one of the Desperate Housewives naked? OK, let's be more specific – ever wanted to see your least favourite member of the Desperate Housewives cast naked?
Of course you have – let's face it, you'd probably look at a naked picture of your own auntie if you found it on the internet wouldn't you, you filthy animal? And if you'd do that then of course you're going to want to drool all over pictures of Marcia Cross naked if the chance ever arose. Well guess what? It has – a removal firm is reportedly in possession of a bunch of photos that show Marcia Cross naked, and a cunning plan to splash them about all over the world has been set in motion. Now Marcia Cross is in a furious dash to block the release of her naked pictures before the sight of her exposed hoo-hahs cause even one molecule of man-muck to dribble out of the piss-whistle of a single confused teenage boy with weird ginger middle-aged woman obsessions.
As far as being naked goes, most of the Desperate Housewives have had their fair share. Glass pirate Teri Hatcher got naked for some rubbishy-looking movie before she got famous that, judging by the video case we saw in John Menzies in 1997 was entitled LOOK AT TERI HATCHER FROM SUPERMAN NAKED. Meanwhile broken-bodied Desperate Housewives space-flasher Eva Longoria may not have ever been publicly naked, but she's made up for it by talking about her naked body constantly. Also, thanks to the magic of the internet we now know that Michael Bolton's fiance from Desperate Housewives got naked in a film called Raw Nerve and so did Felicity Huffman in in a film called Out Of Order.
That of course leaves Marcia Cross. Marcia Cross has only been naked four times in her entire life. Firstly Marcia Cross was naked for the first six seconds after she was born, then Marcia Cross was naked again briefly in a movie called Female Perversions. We're guessing that Marcia Cross was at least partially naked during the conception of the child she is currently pregnant with, and finally Marcia Cross got naked for the private photos that a removal company found in her trash and is planning to sell for as much money as it can. Sky reports:
Pregnant Marcia Cross is desperately trying to save naked pics of herself from being published. The snaps were reportedly found by a company hired to remove rubbish from her LA home. The firm's owner is being represented by agent David Hans Schmidt, who plans to sell the pictures. He told the New York Daily News: "There are some pictures of her showering outside. She looks absolutely gorgeous."
Prior to this little revelation, Marcia Cross was only really famous for having nice hair and being married, but this whole naked thing changes everything. Well, OK, it doesn't really change anything. But anyway, now there's a bit of a battle to stop these naked Marcia Cross photos going public. Marcia Cross and her husband Tom Mahoney say that the photos are theirs and that they were thrown out by mistake, while David Hans Schmidt is reportedly offering the couple the chance to buy the naked photos back from him before he sells them to a publication.
Either way, it looks like you may never get a chance to see Marcia Cross naked. If only there was some way to use the internet to see pictures of other naked women, maybe you wouldn't feel so empty.