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James Corden Does His Best Adele Impression; Still Doesn’t Make People Hate Someone Like You

by Robin Darke

Some people hate James Corden. They want the ground to break open and swallow him right up, with all the “stupid” “comedy” things that he says. His amiable, cheeky chappy demeanour just rubs people up such the wrong way that not only would they not piss on him if he was on fire, but they [...]

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Adele Releases Video For Someone Like You, Which You’re Already Sick Of Hearing

by hecklerspray staff

Imagine just for a second that you’re Adele. You wake up to the contractual Lazy Susan of creamed pastries and important news. As you separate your breasts from clapping together when you roll over to the eclair sideboard, you hear that someone on the X Factor is totally stealing your shtick and that song that [...]

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Adele: Banned In Ireland (No Stairway)

by Mof Gimmers

Adele seems to split people into two camps. The first is the Oooh! She’s like a proper singer! She’s not like those thin, manufactured ones! She’s a proper soul singer! She’s a real person! The other is the She Makes Really Boring Records And I Just Don’t Get The Fuss camp. Of course, there’s a [...]

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Cheryl Cole Blows Up Simon Cowell With A Massive Bomb Given To Her By The Army

by Mof Gimmers

Have you ever looked at Simon Cowell and thought to yourself; ‘I’d like to get a load of plastic explosives and blow him and his botoxed face off the face of the Earth, just for giggles’? Well, that’s exactly what Cheryl Cole did yesterday. Remarkably, she did it with the help of the British Army. [...]

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Adele Keeps Not Mentioning Her Figure

by Mof Gimmers

Adele. She’s not thin is she? We’ve all noticed and most people don’t really care. They never have. They may well think her music is duller than stagnant dish water, but her waist? Never even considered it. The single most irritating thing about Adele is that she’s omnipresent. You can’t move for hearing her mawkish [...]

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Cheryl Cole Joins Twitter, World Implodes In Excitement

by Matthew Laidlow

Everything changes and develops into condensed shiny version. Even social networking has evolved. In the beginning we had MySpace, a tool where any idiot could upload appalling songs in the vain hope of being snapped up by a label. Facebook pinched the audience of MySpace, simplifying the clumsiness of its predecessor before Twitter cut out [...]

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People Continue To Employ Cheryl Cole For Inexplicable Reasons (Glee and ‘A Film With Cameron Diaz In It’ Beckon)

by Sophie Hall

You may remember a few months ago (and if you don’t remember, you’re a liar, because we ALL remember. We just don’t talk about it anymore) someone, somewhere on the horizon of logic sacked Cheryl Cole upon realising she is an entirely pointless human woman. Yeah, you remember. It was brilliant. After years being mollycoddled [...]

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You Could Be Arrested For Taking Cheryl Cole’s Photograph Thanks To Superinjunction

by Mof Gimmers

We haven’t seen much of Cheryl Cole since America decided that it really, really hated her voice. As such, Cole almost vanished from the planet, if you don’t count the endless speculative articles that surrounded her for months. And we could well be seeing a lot less of her as she’s been granted an superinjunction [...]

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Cheryl Cole Hates America And Simon Cowell But Loves Girls Aloud

by Mof Gimmers

We live in a world that is dominated by girl groups… and it really is fantastic. Rock is pretty much dead in the water, filled with bloated, self-worthy fellas with guitars peddling pedestrian, plodding pish. The girls meanwhile are making fun, Friday night records. Apart from Adele. And now that Cheryl Cole has been ‘freed’ [...]

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Simon Cowell Is As Good As A Dead Man To Cheryl Cole

by Mof Gimmers

One of the odd things that surrounds Cheryl Cole, is people’s propensity to note that she was working class. It is supposed to be a negative that she’s a chav who got lucky – like that’s a bad thing. It is unfortunate then, that she’s now indulging in a playgroup scrap with Simon Cowell, indeed [...]

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