Adele. She’s not thin is she? We’ve all noticed and most people don’t really care. They never have. They may well think her music is duller than stagnant dish water, but her waist? Never even considered it.
The single most irritating thing about Adele is that she’s omnipresent. You can’t move for hearing her mawkish take on balladry. She’s basically a more-credible Westlife. It’s all earnest, doe-eyed faux-pain channelled through that feeling of being a bit teary after a few drinks, watching someone sing something slightly emotional on a karaoke.
However, bringing up her weight is none other than the girl herself, who for the millionth time this week, has underlined that she’s comfortable with the way she looks.
Adele, if you didn’t know, is on the cover of UK Vogue. Of course, what with her not being a thin model, this gives the fashion industry and women’s lifestyle magazines the chance to, at some point in the future, refute claims of promoting an unhealthy image to young women.
They can now disagree and say “We were one of the first magazines to put Adele on the cover, so no, we don’t subscribe to this notion that we only showcase thinner girls.” You just watch.
Either way, despite the fact no-one really cares what Adele’s figure is like (apart from those laziest of joke makers who like to point it out, just to troll everyone else), she’s keen to point at it and say ‘I don’t care’.
She said:
“I’ve seen people where it rules their lives, you know, who want to be thinner or have bigger boobs, and how it wears them down. And I just don’t want that in my life.”
“It’s just never been an issue – at least, I’ve never hung out with the sort of horrible people who make it an issue. I have insecurities of course, but I don’t hang out with anyone who points them out to me.”
What we can slate though, is Adele’s pathetic immune system as she’s cancelled further gigs thanks to a chest infection after nixing concerts thanks to a bout of laryngitis.
Not that anyone will hear this insult, because everyone is too busy imagining that people are berating Adele for being a different shape to a bunch of other women.
Chances are though, should she lose a load of weight, women will be the first to start yelling “Oh! Doesn’t she look great?!” or “I can’t believe she’s lost all that weight. It must be peer pressure! I don’t judge women by their size, but I definitely think she’s not as good now she’s thin.”
Idiots.
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