Have you ever looked at Simon Cowell and thought to yourself; ‘I’d like to get a load of plastic explosives and blow him and his botoxed face off the face of the Earth, just for giggles’?
Well, that’s exactly what Cheryl Cole did yesterday. Remarkably, she did it with the help of the British Army.
We don’t remember seeing Simon Cowell’s face on the infamous War On Terror playing cards though. Paula Abdul, yes, but no Cowell.
The Army, who clearly hate the music that Simon Cowell has unleashed on the world, got their explosive experts to give Cheryl the opportunity to blow up the music mogul.
Cole, while over at Camp Bastion, was thrilled to get the chance to blow something to kingdom come.
Sadly, it was only a dummy of the X Factory Foreman.
Cole apparently said:
“His head needed to be a lot bigger and the trousers could have done with being a lot higher.”
“It was nice to hold the cards for a change. This moment will live in my memory for a long time! They sprang it on me. I had no idea Simon the dummy was going to be blown up. It was good to see everyone having a laugh.”
Yeah. Blowing stuff up is a laugh! We can’t fault that line of thinking.
Unless, of course, you’re blowing up a busy shopping street with a lunchbox filled with explosives strapped to your stomach. That’s marginally less fun.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or else we’ll kill you in your sleep or join our Facebook group if anyone is still daft enough to use it or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS OR WE’LL KILL EVERYONE YOU’VE EVER LOVED!