Imagine just for a second that you're Adele. You wake up to the contractual Lazy Susan of creamed pastries and important news.
As you separate your breasts from clapping together when you roll over to the eclair sideboard, you hear that someone on the X Factor is totally stealing your shtick and that song that you've rammed down so many throats that the Nation doesn't have a gag reflex anymore? Well the video is out. You?d probably have a celebratory glass of whole cream as you sit down to watch it.
Aaaaaaaaaaand, end scene. Well done everyone. Take five and grab something from the green room.
If you haven't guessed already, the video for ?Someone Like You? has finally been released. The video that nobody wanted filming can finally be viewed. And in our honest hecklerspraying opinion, it's a bit of a flimsy attempt to capitalise on the, somewhat, waning mega-success that she has already had with it.
Maybe it's because she has to pay almost half of the profits to HMRC so she wants to squeeze every last drop out of it before finally giving up the goat. Or perhaps she just wanted to go for a wander around Paris and have someone film it. Which is very arrogant isn't it? Bad Adele, no eclairs for you.
Obviously we all know that it's so she can release a deluxe version of ?21? with added features like the videos and shit on there in a few months time.
To be honest though, because there's an almost Instagram-esque haze throughout the whole video, it's difficult to definitely say that it's Paris that she's about to rob of all it's baked products. It could easily be set in Blackpool or anywhere else that has a tower in it.
Why someone in Adele?s management decided to release an official video for this song, when the performance at the Brits did the song more justice than anything anyone can create, is baffling. You can watch it here, but trust us, you\’ll have a confused feeling in your stomach afterward. Like having sex with David Hasslehoff. It's unnecessary and will make you feel a little unwell after.
At least she's wearing a nice coat. So she's clearly thinking of the weather.
This article was written, blindfolded, by the debauched nincompoop Robin Darke who you can find out more on via this stream of twaddle.
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Bobby says
Adele looks like Kirby in a red wig.
Robin Darke says
There was a rumour that the album was going to be called Adele 64: The Crystal Shard instead of 21.