Articles tagged with: Tom Cruise
Tom Cruise & Charlize Theron: Together At, Um, Last?
You know what movie we'd love to see? A movie starring the pointless one from Hancock and the pointless one from Lions For Lambs. And guess what? That movie is being made. According to reports, Charlize Theron and Tom Cruise are set to team up for an adaptation of French movie The Tourist, with a script written by Oscar-winning writer Julian Fellowes. Without knowing too much about The Tourist, it's safe to say that Tom Cruise is still after that Oscar. It seems clear to us that Tom is only making the movie to glean Oscar-winning tips from Fellowes and Theron, and then put them to use in his next movie - which we're expecting to be about a dirty-faced, slightly disfigured woman played by Tom Cruise who talks in lots of half sentences over himself all the time.
You know what movie we'd love to see? A movie starring the pointless one from Hancock and the pointless one from Lions For Lambs. And guess what? That movie is being made. According to reports, Charlize Theron and Tom Cruise are set to team up for an adaptation of French movie The Tourist, with a script written by Oscar-winning writer Julian Fellowes. Without knowing too much about The Tourist, it's safe to say that Tom Cruise is still after that Oscar. It seems clear to us that Tom is only making the movie to glean Oscar-winning tips from Fellowes and Theron, and then put them to use in his next movie - which we're expecting to be about a dirty-faced, slightly disfigured woman played by Tom Cruise who talks in lots of half sentences over himself all the time.
Katie Holmes Does Some Acting, Seems To Think It’s A Big Deal
With the economy the way it is, what better way to cheer everyone up than a 61-year-old play about suicide starring Tom Cruise's wife? Last night, that's what the world got - Katie Holmes made her Broadway debut in Arthur Miller's All My Sons. It's a big career move for her - we'll no longer see Katie Holmes as Tom Cruise's wife, but as Tom Cruise's wife who Tom Cruise occasionally lets star in plays so long as she promises to never get more famous than him. All My Sons is, of course, a harsh critique of the American dream and an examination of culpability in the face of death. Or at least it was - we hear that Tom Cruise was at dress rehearsal last night, and as a result the finished play has got more atomic bombs and volcanoes and evil alien overlords in it. Plus the Katie Holmes character is now locked in something called a 'Thetan Cage' for the entire play. We don't know why that is.
With the economy the way it is, what better way to cheer everyone up than a 61-year-old play about suicide starring Tom Cruise's wife? Last night, that's what the world got - Katie Holmes made her Broadway debut in Arthur Miller's All My Sons. It's a big career move for her - we'll no longer see Katie Holmes as Tom Cruise's wife, but as Tom Cruise's wife who Tom Cruise occasionally lets star in plays so long as she promises to never get more famous than him. All My Sons is, of course, a harsh critique of the American dream and an examination of culpability in the face of death. Or at least it was - we hear that Tom Cruise was at dress rehearsal last night, and as a result the finished play has got more atomic bombs and volcanoes and evil alien overlords in it. Plus the Katie Holmes character is now locked in something called a 'Thetan Cage' for the entire play. We don't know why that is.
Tom Cruise Weathers Tropic(al) Thunder to Walk Katie Holmes to Work. Or Something.
It would appear that Katie Holmes didn't manage to run away from Tom Cruise as fast as we would have hoped for the poor girl. She did manage to escape to the other side of the US 'to be in a Broadway show', as the official story put it - we know that was just a cover, and we urged Katie to run for her Creeking life. But it would seem her cover of 'I have a job over there' didn't hold water with hubby Tom Cruise, and the fat bald one from Tropic Thunder has re-stamped his authority on Katie Holmes. We tried to save her, we really did, but for some people there's just no way around it. She's consigned herself to a lifetime of being lead around by a dwarf, as she allowed the Cruiser to fly all the way across the country just to walk her to work. Why didn't you run, Katie? Why?
It would appear that Katie Holmes didn't manage to run away from Tom Cruise as fast as we would have hoped for the poor girl. She did manage to escape to the other side of the US 'to be in a Broadway show', as the official story put it - we know that was just a cover, and we urged Katie to run for her Creeking life. But it would seem her cover of 'I have a job over there' didn't hold water with hubby Tom Cruise, and the fat bald one from Tropic Thunder has re-stamped his authority on Katie Holmes. We tried to save her, we really did, but for some people there's just no way around it. She's consigned herself to a lifetime of being lead around by a dwarf, as she allowed the Cruiser to fly all the way across the country just to walk her to work. Why didn't you run, Katie? Why?
Tom Cruise Causes Sleeper Puns to Take Over the Internet. We’re Not Happy.
Tom Cruise is continuing his run of trying to make people think he's less of a massive mental, religious freak. First he stopped jumping around like a particularly stupid chimp, he stopped going on about Scientology in public - though he did see some of his private video collection released, much to the delight/terror (delete as appropriate) of the general public - and he's seeing some rave reviews flying about for his small role in Tropic Thunder. So what next? Well, it's obvious isn't it? Star in a superhero film, and get someone like Sam Raimi on board to produce. Which is, apparently, what's being pushed for by Tom Cruise and Warner Bros, who own the rights to Sleeper - a short running comic book series from a few years back. Well, Raimi's already on board, but you get the point. And you can't fault the man's logic.
Tom Cruise is continuing his run of trying to make people think he's less of a massive mental, religious freak. First he stopped jumping around like a particularly stupid chimp, he stopped going on about Scientology in public - though he did see some of his private video collection released, much to the delight/terror (delete as appropriate) of the general public - and he's seeing some rave reviews flying about for his small role in Tropic Thunder. So what next? Well, it's obvious isn't it? Star in a superhero film, and get someone like Sam Raimi on board to produce. Which is, apparently, what's being pushed for by Tom Cruise and Warner Bros, who own the rights to Sleeper - a short running comic book series from a few years back. Well, Raimi's already on board, but you get the point. And you can't fault the man's logic.
Angelina Jolie Steals Tom Cruise’s Job: Scientology Shockingly Not Involved
It's a wonder Angelina Jolie still has time for movies these days, what with her off saving the world, donating to charity and stealing all the kids from Africa. But apparently she of the lips fame does have time - not only time, but she also has the inclination to take roles that were initially meant for one Tom Cruise. Not content with stealing all the babies from the birthplace of humanity, it would seem that Angelina Jolie also wants to steal roles from Scientologists. At least, that's what it looks like on current evidence. The long-touted but never actually made Edwin A. Salt is reportedly the film that Jolie will be taking the lead role in, with the title receiving a change as we would all expect. Edwina A. Salt doesn't sound that good, mind, so hopefully they'll put more thought into it than we have.
It's a wonder Angelina Jolie still has time for movies these days, what with her off saving the world, donating to charity and stealing all the kids from Africa. But apparently she of the lips fame does have time - not only time, but she also has the inclination to take roles that were initially meant for one Tom Cruise. Not content with stealing all the babies from the birthplace of humanity, it would seem that Angelina Jolie also wants to steal roles from Scientologists. At least, that's what it looks like on current evidence. The long-touted but never actually made Edwin A. Salt is reportedly the film that Jolie will be taking the lead role in, with the title receiving a change as we would all expect. Edwina A. Salt doesn't sound that good, mind, so hopefully they'll put more thought into it than we have.
Katie Holmes Runs Away From Tom Cruise, Maybe…While Screaming…Possibly
Run, Katie Holmes! Run as if Dawson's massive forehead were behind you! You're so close to freedom! For the first time in what seems like an ice age, Katie has escaped the clutches of everybody's favourite evil Nazi, Tom Cruise. Scampering away to New York City with daughter Suri in tow, Holmes was free to roam as she saw fit, without the watchful eye of the Cruiser looking over her shoulder. The official story behind her visit to NYC is that Katie Holmes is about to star in the Broadway production of Arthur Miller's All My Sons - but we know better. It's an escape ploy from Katie - she's clearly running back to the Creek: the one place she can feel truly safe from Maverick and his Scientology cronies.
Run, Katie Holmes! Run as if Dawson's massive forehead were behind you! You're so close to freedom! For the first time in what seems like an ice age, Katie has escaped the clutches of everybody's favourite evil Nazi, Tom Cruise. Scampering away to New York City with daughter Suri in tow, Holmes was free to roam as she saw fit, without the watchful eye of the Cruiser looking over her shoulder. The official story behind her visit to NYC is that Katie Holmes is about to star in the Broadway production of Arthur Miller's All My Sons - but we know better. It's an escape ploy from Katie - she's clearly running back to the Creek: the one place she can feel truly safe from Maverick and his Scientology cronies.
Tom Cruise in $250 Million “is he a Scientology-Mafia Right Hand Man?” Case
Well, file this one under 'how the hell did we miss that, even though it broke about a day ago?!' See, you traipse the internet, you look through all of your sources, talk to people and even read things and yet - we still miss things sometimes. Big things. Things that were basically stories handcrafted for the hallowed pages of hecklerspray. Things that involve both Tom Cruise and Scientology. Things that involve Tom Cruise, Scientology and the fact that both the person and the religion are being sued by an ex-follower. How the hell did we miss this?
Well, file this one under 'how the hell did we miss that, even though it broke about a day ago?!' See, you traipse the internet, you look through all of your sources, talk to people and even read things and yet - we still miss things sometimes. Big things. Things that were basically stories handcrafted for the hallowed pages of hecklerspray. Things that involve both Tom Cruise and Scientology. Things that involve Tom Cruise, Scientology and the fact that both the person and the religion are being sued by an ex-follower. How the hell did we miss this?
Tom Cruise Forces Old Dead German To Look Like Him
Say the name Tom Cruise and at least 3 out of 10 women will swoon right down to the floor. That's probably because both he and his soft velvety skin are considered 'handsome.' And we're not talking about just in lost African pygmy tribes either - we mean by western standards lots of chicks really dig him, man. Who wouldn't want to look like that? Production of Cruise's Valkyrie movie called for a publicity shot of Tommy-boy's profile smack dab next to one of the would-be German assassin - and you know what? The two look quite alike. Until German murmuring turned up the fact the one photo was altered quite a bit to look like the American star. The poor dead guy. That profile head-shot was probably all his kids had left.
Say the name Tom Cruise and at least 3 out of 10 women will swoon right down to the floor. That's probably because both he and his soft velvety skin are considered 'handsome.' And we're not talking about just in lost African pygmy tribes either - we mean by western standards lots of chicks really dig him, man. Who wouldn't want to look like that? Production of Cruise's Valkyrie movie called for a publicity shot of Tommy-boy's profile smack dab next to one of the would-be German assassin - and you know what? The two look quite alike. Until German murmuring turned up the fact the one photo was altered quite a bit to look like the American star. The poor dead guy. That profile head-shot was probably all his kids had left.
