by Stuart Heritage
Katie Holmes has never really been that well known for her giant profundity, but that’s all about to change.
And it’s all down to Suri Cruise. You see, the effect of Suri Cruise on Katie Holmes has been enormous. So big that Katie Holmes has just become the first mother in all of history to publicly state that she quite likes her child.
It goes further. Katie Holmes has called being a mother ‘the most important job in the world’. Take that Ban Ki-moon, and don’t come back until you’ve learnt how to cook fish fingers for crying ungrateful brats.
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by Shawn Lindseth
Hitler had a face that only a mother could love – a blind, drunk mother whose eyeballs were probably in the bottom of a reservoir somewhere filled with cataracts.
As far as our top five list of attractive dictators goes, Hitler’s not even on it. You know who is though? General Mao. Sure he was mean, but he had the jaw-line of a god. Adolf was ugly alright – but don’t tell that to Eva Braun. She used to lick sugar off his greasy cheek bones (Germans think that’s an exfoliator). Imagine how dumb she’d feel once she found out he was ugly.
Hideous as he was, though, Hitler apparently had good taste in globes. And that, through a series of strange events, now has Tom Cruise hovering on the brink of a huge gaping lawsuit.
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