Posts tagged as:

The Apprentice

The Apprentice Review: Making Rubbish Puns

by Jacki Evans

Last night’s Apprentice was all about rubbish. Actual, literal rubbish. There are so many puns in hecklerspray’s brain right now, but we’re not going to make any of them. That would be too obvious. Besides, this week was like a new show – it wasn’t all about Magic Jim! Before the collective divs could get [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

The Apprentice: Magic Jim Escapes. Again.

by Jacki Evans

This week’s Apprentice was all about the always embarrassing advertising task, where Lord Sugar had his minions create, brand and launch a new pet food. The real theme of this week though seemed to be ignoring everyone. Except for the artist formerly known as Magic Jim. Focus groups, team members, Nick’s ridiculous expression? THEY MATTER [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

The Apprentice: Showing You How Not To Shop

by Jacki Evans

Last night saw the Apprentice’s buying task return to our screens. Think the candidates are only good at losing money? Turns out they can’t spend it either. It’s almost a shame they’re not in charge of the economy – their complete lack of spending skills would’ve stopped us ever getting into this nasty budget deficit [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

The Apprentice: Annoying You Twice In Two Days

by hecklerspray staff

Last night saw the continued returned of the Apprentice. That’s right, it was on again. A day after it started. With another episode. Apparently the viewing public could not be expected to wait an entire week to see if the weekly bullshit quota could be fulfilled without the one-man wankfest that was Edward, so we [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

The Apprentice Week 1: Overhauled And Exactly The Same

by hecklerspray staff

The apprentice is back! You might’ve been missing it, but lets face it, that’s pretty unlikely since the last series was on our screens roughly 20 seconds ago. But this time, it’s different. Apparently. As far as we can tell it’s exactly the same, but maybe a little more like Dragon’s Den. It’s complicated. Basically, [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

The Apprentice Candidates 2011: The 16 Horsepeople Of The Apocalypse

by Justrestingmyeyes

Despite the fact that it’s only been a scant few months since The Good Lord clamped the FinanceBot 3000 Stella to his ample Amstrad man-bosom, he’s off on the hunt for a new Apprentice. Another one? What is he, Fagin? Lord Sugar goes through more nubile young business flesh than the lead sword in Slutty [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

The Apprentice Final: Who Will Be Freed From Their Urbon Prism?

by Justrestingmyeyes

So it comes down to this: after 12 weeks of dodgy DVDs and dayglo babies, tour buses and tramp-tie dresses, octopus-based perversions, Blue Book confusion and Stuart Baggs’ little white sausage, two candidates remain for the chance to sit at the right hand of the Good Lord and suckle at the meaty teat of the [...]

3 comments Read more >>>

The Apprentice Week 11: Lord Thunderdome And The Swift Execution

by Justrestingmyeyes

When he finds himself in times of trouble, the Good Lord ain’t got no truck with that blaady Mother Mary type wailing away in his ear’ole. If he wants words of wisdom, he just sends the SugSignal into the Harlow night, and waits for his crack team of superhero interrogators to kapow the smiles from [...]

9 comments Read more >>>

Stuart ‘The Brand’ Baggs Gets His Own ‘I’m A Field Of Ponies’ T-Shirt To Celebrate #theapprentice

by hecklerspray staff

“Everything I touch turns to sold” Stuart ‘The Brand’ Baggs has been a rich source of televisual gold while he’s been on The Apprentice. It is obvious he should have been given the boot ages ago, but the producers clearly know when they’re onto a good thing. Anyone who can say “Excuse me Sir, you [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

The Apprentice Week 10: Lord Whatever Rhymes With Sugar

by Justrestingmyeyes

Only six remain rattling around the Apprentice townhouse. They should probably show some of that entreprenurial spirit they all claim to have in spades and sub-let some of the empty rooms. Although the cost of the exorcism to remove the still lingering spirits of Melissa’s tortured vowels, not to mention the peroxide stains, could make that plan financially unviable. What [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →