Last night?s Apprentice was all about rubbish. Actual, literal rubbish. There are so many puns in hecklerspray?s brain right now, but we're not going to make any of them. That would be too obvious. Besides, this week was like a new show ? it wasn?t all about Magic Jim!
Before the collective divs could get onto the task though ? which was all about making money from collecting people?s detritus ? there was a bit of housekeeping that had to be done. Team Logic, you see, are completely hopeless and have lost every single task so far this series. This meant that the numbers were unbalanced, so serial winner Helen got moved over to team Logic, where she immediately started annoying the crap out of Melody.
But that wasn?t all the bitchiness for this week. Over at Venture, Susie had apparently developed a mad hatred of Zoe, who insisted on being project manager (there just wasn?t time for democracy, apparently) at the expense of meek little Susie. In fairness to Zoe, Susie was just meeping something in the corner about how maybe she might sort of a little bit do it if nobody else could quite be bothered and other people thought it was a good idea and it was raining outside and a full moon and Venus was doing something special. And so began the quietest hatred in television history.
As with all tasks, the teams inevitably split, with the girls pitching for business whilst the boys drove round in circles looking for anything that they might possibly be able to sell on at profit. At the pitches, Logic took the risky strategy of taking people?s crap away for free, whilst at Venture, Zoe apparently completely misunderstood everything that was going on. She wanted to charge people money to give her their valuable office equipment. Meeping Susie attempted to correct her, but was instead told she was an idiot. And yet Zoe was the one who ended the day in tears. This lot really care about rubbish, it seems.
Out on the streets, Magic Jim and Tom took to yelling at people through a megaphone. Especially number 73. They?ve got something Magic Jim really wants. In the end though, they ended up doing a deal with a dodgy builder who incurred the wrath of the Magic One by adding more crap to the pile after the handshake. Does he not realise who he's messing with? Jim could turn him to dogshit if he wanted!
Venture meanwhile, succeeded in finding Crawford from 2006?s Shipwrecked. Remember him? No? Just us? Ah well, either way, he provides the teams with a chilling reminder of what life after reality TV holds, which seems to be hanging around in plumbers yards in Fulham, and a slightly dodgy haircut.
After a mad rush to get everything collected on time, the teams headed to the boardroom, where it seemed that Helen?s incredible winning ability had paid off for Logic, as they won by a mere ?6. Either that, or Jim?s decided to use his magic for winning now that he's got rid of those he hates most.
Zoe took Susie and and Edna back in with her, and for a while it looked like Susie?s incredibly meek uprising was going to be the highlight of the show. But then Edna decided to talk.
Not content with making a massive dick of herself earlier by claiming credit for anything and everything that went well with the task, Edna decided to claim credit for entire companies. She trains Chief Executives to be better at their jobs, you see. Everything good that has ever happened in the world is down to her.
Shockingly enough, Lord Sugar fired her being a pompous arse. Shame we?ll never know what those gloves were about.
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Meee says
SO GLAD I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO RECOGNISED CRAWFORD
Lev says
Edna was such a tool! Really, really REALLY cant stand monotone Zoe! Her voice does my nut in lol
I think Jim and that builder should have had a little scrap. <– that's my one and only pun for the day!