Posts tagged as:

Stalker

Fan Rightly Attacks Avril Lavigne OnStage For Attempting Coldplay Cover [VIDEO]

by Mof Gimmers

For a while, Avril Lavigne was one of the most famous people on Earth. She was a very marketable mix of Alanis Morrisette and Nu Metal and everyone wanted her to hurry up with the ageing process so they could stop feeling guilty for fancying her. And her fangs. Like Hubba Bubba, she quickly lost [...]

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hecklerspray Writer Gets Arrested Again For Stalking Paris Hilton

by Mof Gimmers

We’ve long enjoyed stalking celebrities in their homes. It gives us not only a sense of knowing the celebrity that little bit more, but also, a sense of achievement. Ever scaled an electrified security fence covered in vandal grease and then sneaked through a tiny lavatory window undetected? You haven’t lived. Sadly though, the vandal [...]

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Hecklerspray Writer Hit With 2 Year Restraining Order By Lindsay Lohan

by Mof Gimmers

It has finally happened. A celebrity has actually gone and banned us from rummaging through their bins, standing silently on their lawn and breaking into their house to sniff the laundry basket and fall asleep, face down, with their undergarments on our faces. That celebrity is Lindsay Lohan. See, on Wednesday, she won a two-year [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Gets A Restraining Order To Add To Her Completely Normal Life

by Mof Gimmers

We may well think of Lindsay Lohan as a jewel thief, booze-hoover and sometime thespian, but really, we should think of her as a piece of legal furniture. So frequently has LiLo been involved with matters of the law, that she’s probably the most qualified person in the USA when it comes to a person’s [...]

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Nicole Kidman Stalked By Drunk Wizard

by Joanna Bolouri

Here at hecklerspray, we take stalking very seriously indeed. So seriously in fact, we spend all of our bingo winnings on really hi-tech night vision goggles making sure all those celebrities are safe from harm while undressing in front of their bedroom windows at night. However, in the days before Tom Cruise was the only [...]

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Uma Thurman To Star In Tarantino Spaghetti Western?

by Mof Gimmers

Uma Thurman is smokin’ hot isn’t she? Wait! No she isn’t! Yes she is! Oh, we wish her face would make our minds up! In fact, we wish Uma Thurman’s face would make it’s mind up. For now, we’re going with ‘hot’. Anyway, let us not objectify wimminfolk too much. We like Uma for her [...]

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The Only Person Still Stalking Madonna Gets Arrested

by Mof Gimmers

It’s the end of an era folks. The last remaining stalker that Madonna could call her own has finally been arrested, leaving her with only people who vaguely recognise her left on this godforsaken planet. That’s right, like the death of the dodo and the velociraptor (incidentally, both of these creatures share looks with Madge), [...]

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Lindsay Lohan May Have A Stalker – A Stalker Called Hecklerspray?

by Mof Gimmers

We’ve been rumbled. At least, that’s what it sounds like. See, Lindsay Lohan has become afraid, threatened and targeted. All things you could blame useless, leeching shits like us for. However, she’s under the impression its a stalker that is causing her bother, which means we can get on with our business. So while a [...]

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Uma Thurman’s Stalker Gets Arrested While Typing ‘Uma Thurman’ Into A Search Engine

by Mof Gimmers

Uma Thurman is a strange creature isn’t she? Sometimes, she’s one of the most beautiful women you’ll ever see, yet, somehow, only seconds away from looking like a very ugly man. Still, she’s made a bunch of fun films so we shouldn’t grumble really. She’ll be less grumbly today too. Why? Well, thanks to her [...]

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Sandra Bullock Gets Stalker Injunction (Possibly Against Disgraced hecklerspray Editor)

by Mof Gimmers

In a week where regular editor Stuart Heritage has gone missing, it is interesting to note that Sandra Bullock has obtained a temporary restraining order against a man accused of stalking her since 2003.

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