We’ve long enjoyed stalking celebrities in their homes. It gives us not only a sense of knowing the celebrity that little bit more, but also, a sense of achievement. Ever scaled an electrified security fence covered in vandal grease and then sneaked through a tiny lavatory window undetected? You haven’t lived.
Sadly though, the vandal paint provides an excellent tracking system as dirty great footprints chart your progress to-and-from the knicker drawer.
And we’ve found this out to our expense again as ‘scribe Dep. Ed., Michael Park has once again been arrested outside Paris Hilton’s Hollywood Hills home in Malibu. We’ve give the exact address but we’re hoarding it for ourselves and giving to it Michael as a gift on his release. We’ve also got a picture of Michael’s arrest for your delectation.
Park was detained by LA County Sheriff’s deputies on yesterday after they found him sitting on the beach, looking into Hilton’s house. We can confirm that Michael was naked from the waist down and had the fix glare of an aroused Teddy Bear.
Of course, what foiled Michael’s chances of sexual, illicit thrill, is that he’s not allowed within 200 yards of Hilton’s house thanks to a restraining order. Sadly for him, we didn’t tell him this after his previous arrest, just for the japes.
What is great though is that Park was able to catch a glimpse of his one and only true love, as Hilton was photographed watching the drama unfold from a balcony. Photographed by us in fact.
An onlooker says:
“He was hanging around on the beach while Paris was inside. Someone recognized him as being the man who had given her trouble in the past and the cops arrived pretty quickly. They checked him out and led him away, he was handcuffed and put into the police car.”
Park, operating under the name ‘James Rainford’, was previously arrested for trespassing outside Hilton’s home and having a punch-up with security team. He also got a stint in the clink for attacking her former boyfriend Cy Waits outside a courthouse. The Toronto Sun managed to snap a picture of Park being arrested, which we’re printing out and sticking on our ‘Employee Of The Month’ pinboard later this afternoon.
Now, can anyone lend us $20,000 for the bail?
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