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sci-fi

Star Wars Hottest Women!

by Mof Gimmers

George Lucas has got everyone thinking about Star Wars again, what with him re-releasing it for the millionth time and, better yet, still tinkering around with it in a bid to utterly infuriate absolutely everyone who loves the films. Well done George. So while Lucas meddles, we fiddle. This means we started thinking about the [...]

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George Lucas: Making The Old Star Wars Films Better

by Mof Gimmers

Star Wars, great as it is, is by no means perfect. There’s loads of mistakes in it which are really, quite unacceptable. How can you have a masterpiece with a Stormtrooper smacking his head against a beam? And so, George Lucas is our saviour, here to iron out all these imperfections and make the film [...]

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Arnold Schwarzenegger Wears Tastless T-Shirt Slating His Wife

by Mof Gimmers

Arnold Schwarzenegger got caught with his pants down. Hardly surprising really seeing as his pants have been down for over a decade after it was discovered that he’d sired some kid with his housekeeper and kept it a massive, stinky secret. Of course, when his wife found out, she didn’t hesitate in wanting him out [...]

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Arnold Schwarzenegger May Have Had A Vague Idea That Everyone Thinks He’s A Rotten Swine

by Mof Gimmers

Rumours of being a little bit gropey, a secret love baby with the house maid, a Republican and a man who didn’t want to give his wife any divorce money. Yep. Arnold Schwarzenegger has been a prize bell-end over the years, especially so in recent months. It’s concerning the divorce pennies that has seen Arnie [...]

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Schwarzenegger Doesn’t Want To Give His Ex Any Money, Because He’s Giving It All To His Secret Baby Probably

by Mof Gimmers

Caught with his trousers well and truly ’round his ankles, Arnold Schwarzenegger has been in the doghouse for a while now. After keeping a child of his secret, which he had with the maid, you’d assume that he would re-emerge more graceful and humble. However, subtlety isn’t one of Arnie’s strong points, as his consistently [...]

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Karen Gillan And The Word Naked Is Very Search Term Friendly, Despite Being Old News (We Have A Picture Though)

by Mof Gimmers

Yesterday, we completely forgot to write about Karen Gillan being found naked on the floor of a hotel in New York. Despite the fact it is quite literally yesterday’s news, everyone still seems to be talking about it today. So of course, not wanting to miss out on that lovely traffic, invariably being swept up [...]

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Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Secret Baby Momma Talks About Crying On Her Knees

by Mof Gimmers

While Arnold Schwarzenegger sits in an unlit room, weeping over a photograph of the family he tore to pieces like a baddie in a blockbuster, we’ve all been wondering what the fresh hell Mildred ‘Patty’ Baena has to say about her secret love-child with the former governor of California. She’s been showing a rare, dignified [...]

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JJ Abrams Mentions Star Trek 2 To Someone. Briefly.

by Si Sharp

Director/producer/other stuff-er JJ Abrams has mentioned the next Star Trek film in an interview. As you all know when someone says anything about a forthcoming sci-fi or superhero film, it’s our duty as a blog to report the same story as everybody else regardless of how little information we are actually conveying. Your job, as [...]

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Apparently, We’re All Being Racist When We Gloat At Schwarzenegger’s Affair

by Mof Gimmers

Isn’t it funny that actors get so uppity when they’re caught with their pants down? They usually howl that mistresses are telling stories for little more than financial gain. Ironic given that is exactly what actors do for a living. As such, we shouldn’t be surprised when it transpires they’ve been hoodwinking us with a [...]

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Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Mistress’ Ex Is Tenuous And Furious

by Mof Gimmers

Arnold Schwarzenegger is not having a good week. Sure, he’s getting loads of press, but alas, everyone thinks he’s a massive, callous, sneaky, lying weapon… as opposed to a bumbling, funny-talking, lovable weapon. And now he’s upset a man who can’t speak English properly. That’s right, the ex-husband of the Mildred Baena, who Arnie successfully [...]

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