Star Wars, great as it is, is by no means perfect. There’s loads of mistakes in it which are really, quite unacceptable. How can you have a masterpiece with a Stormtrooper smacking his head against a beam?
And so, George Lucas is our saviour, here to iron out all these imperfections and make the film as good as it could be.
His latest move is to take a scene that’s bugged us for ages – the death of Emperor Palpatine – and make it vastly superior by getting Darth Vader to actually emote, rather than stand there like some useless work experience lump in a mobile phone shop.
Lucas has made many small improvements to the original Star Wars trilogy (and he’ll invariably do the same with episodes 1, 2 and 3 in the future also – hopefully ramping up Jar Jar Binks’ involvement to provide excellent comic relief from all that political rubbish).
Remember when he made Greedo shoot first? That was a vital change because, until that point, Han Solo looked like a bit of a racist. Sure, he can be a belligerent goon, but a cold-blooded racist murderer? No thanks.
And now, he’s added a little audio to the scene in Return of the Jedi where Darth Vader finally gets a heart and saves his son Luke from being killed by Palpatine.
This change will be seen in the upcoming Blu-ray collection of the films, and has Vader shouting “No! Noooo!” before he chucks the Emperor down a glowing shaft.
Lucas has also made the Ewoks blink, which is a blessing. Those horrible beady, lifeless eyes staring at you… brrr.
Of course, not everyone is happy with these improvements that Lucas is making. Comedian Paul Scheer wrote:
“If George Lucas continues to change Star Wars at this rate in the year 2028 it will just become Spaceballs.”
What’s wrong with Spaceballs? That’s great too! Fact is, George Lucas is making the changes to Star Wars that have always ruined it as a film. One day, he’ll get rid of all those segments which are wrong, leaving us with a pristine version of the greatest sci-fi franchise ever made.
Thanks George.
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Arthur ASCii says
I wonder how the mouth breathers would react if Lucas decided, next time, to chuck in a perfect pair of CGI barenaked tits on Princess Leela.
rosehaynes says
Jar Jar is going to be A New Hope. http://bit.ly/qnLq5X
Cookie Monster says
Were they wearing 3-D goggles, the results would be a slobber fest of the blind. Sub-in Fisher’s current tats, and… well, the results would be the same. BOOBIES!