Yesterday, we completely forgot to write about Karen Gillan being found naked on the floor of a hotel in New York. Despite the fact it is quite literally yesterday’s news, everyone still seems to be talking about it today.
So of course, not wanting to miss out on that lovely traffic, invariably being swept up by slow-reacting newspapers that only grabbed a hold of the story today, we’re going to write about it as well.
So yeah. Karen Gillan. Naked. A Doctor Who companion with no clothes on, like that woman who got naked with a Dalek that one time.
So what’s the craic then? Well, as you will have read elsewhere, possibly countless times in a bid to see if anyone has any pictures of the event – which they don’t and never will – Gillan went on the lash in NYC and returned to her hotel rather worse for wear.
The Doctor Who companion was found whimpering on the floor without a stitch on, giving millions of lonely sci-fi loving onanists the opportunity to wank from the bank for the next decade or so.
She and Matt Smith had been on the razz and then it all went wrong for Karen. Karen who ended up naked. Naked on the floor. Whimpering. Whimpering like a wounded deer. A wounded, sexy deer. Your favourite fantasy, come to life. A guest at the hotel heard someone trying to open his door at 7am and it was Gillan with her boobs out. Her drunk boobs. Her drunk, science fiction boobs.
A guest says:
“I went to the peephole and looked out. I saw a man at the lift who was looking back at someone who was attempting to open my door? the next thing I saw was a woman giving this person at my door two towels before getting into the lift and leaving.”
?Then I saw this young woman, completely naked, trying to wrap two towels around her and not having much luck. She then started to whimper and knock on my door. Seeing that she wasn?t getting anywhere, she lay down with the towels covering her.”
But you know that. You’ve been reading the story over and over again for the past 24 hours straight, trying to get an image of it in your mind so sharp and clear that you’ll never sully your brain with another memory again.
Of course, no-one was available for comment. But nobody cares about that. You dirty buggers are just hoping that some grainy CCTV footage appears in the next couple of days.
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