Rumours of being a little bit gropey, a secret love baby with the house maid, a Republican and a man who didn’t want to give his wife any divorce money. Yep. Arnold Schwarzenegger has been a prize bell-end over the years, especially so in recent months.
It’s concerning the divorce pennies that has seen Arnie looking his most callous. Basically, in America, you say sorry with either rehab or money. Seeing as the actor’s soon-to-be-ex wife, Maria Shriver, isn’t interested in reconciliation, it’s cash she wants. And for him to then go far, far away until he’s just a speck on the horizon.
However, it seems that Arnold may have had a thought that he may actually have something to say sorry for.
After deciding that a perfectly innocent woman didn’t deserve any financial apology, it appears that Schwarzenegger has had a change of heart by amending the divorce filing and withdrawn a request that a judge terminate Maria Shriver’s rights to spousal support.
See! He does have feelings! And there was us thinking that, if you dug through his ribcage, you’d simply find the robot Terminator head in place of a heart.
Basically, he’s realised how enormously wealthy he is and that he’s more than able… and now willing… to pay Shriver’s attorney’s fees and that he’ll probably sort her out with some cash when this is all done so she can look after the kids.
But not the one he had with the maid. He can piss off.
This suddenly human emotion may well have come about after Shriver and Arnie’s 13-year-old son was hospitalized after a rather horrible body-boarding accident which left him with a collapsed lung.
So well done to that clumsy child. Your terrible surfing ability has drawn blood from the stone that lies in place of Arnold’s emotions.
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Perseus says
Who do you think you are saying such evil things about the great actor/body builder/politician/all round great guy that is Arnie. He is my hero and you shouldn’t spread lies about him. Yeah he had a moment of weakness a few years ago but I’m sure he realises that it was wrong and he loves his kids and Maria. You are a shrivelled testicle next to his greatness. He could kill you with one punch but he wouldn’t because he’s an amazing man. I hope Maria can forgive him one day. His new movies will be amazing, you just wait and see.
Mangosta says
Who do you think you are to kill the great woman/gorgon/chthonic monster/mythological creature and all round great gal that is Medusa? She was my hero and you shouldn
Cookie Monster says
“Basically, in America, you say sorry with either rehab or money,” is such a perfectly succinct and self-contained gem of a line that I do declare that it may be the best eleven words in a row that you have put to print, Sir Gimcrack.
d says
Perseus:
Any guy who bangs something as ugly as that housekeeper deserves every jab that can be dished out.
Brickolas says
Here’s one for the “Readers Letters”. I can see it now… You do realize, Perseus, that you are convincing no one, merely providing fuel for the weekly readers letters post?
Or are you a troll?
stella says
Come on! This ape didn’t do it out of humanity or repentance. Just like most men he bolted at the possibility of having to look after his son in the hospital — that’s women’s lot. Of course, he’d pay any sum to shirk the task. Actually, if women were really smart, they’d give custody of the children to men (gestation and giving birth is already enough hard work) — I bet Arnie wouldn’t have been so eager to divorce, had Maria sent the children to live with him. Actually, if he had to take care of the housekeeper’s brat personally as well, he mightn’t feel like grabbing arses any more.
Mangosta says
‘Just like most men’ is a bit of a sweeping generalisation, isn’t it? Typical woman.
Perseus says
Be more sympathetic. Arnie’s dad was a complete git. He was a member of the hitler youth and really strict and beat Arnie when he was a kid. Arnie didn’t even go to his funeral because of the way he treated him. All he wants is to be loved. But love sometimes leads you astray and you end up hurting people. Think how he must feel inside.
rhondahenry says
Weston believed that Schwarzenegger made the change because of the heat he was taking for the request. http://bit.ly/pV2P3O
EssBen says
yeah yeah we’re all bastards
/yawn
/pick
/flick
Mangosta says
I’d rather not, to be honest, but I imagine he’d feel warm and somewhat squidgy.
Stella says
I wrote ‘most’ precisely to avoid generalisation, otherwise I
Mangosta says
If I had a penny for every time someone’s not got the ‘generalisation’/’typical XXXX’ gag I reckon I’d have about 43p.