George Lucas has got everyone thinking about Star Wars again, what with him re-releasing it for the millionth time and, better yet, still tinkering around with it in a bid to utterly infuriate absolutely everyone who loves the films.
Well done George.
So while Lucas meddles, we fiddle. This means we started thinking about the hottest gals from the Star Wars films. When we kicked our measly brains into gear, it transpired that there aren’t too many girls in the Star Wars universe. So who with excite our spaceballs?
There’s a few lists knocking around looking at the fine ladies of the Star Wars universe, but to be honest, they’re all completely rubbish compared to this list.
That’s because we’ve got the nerve/complete lack of shame in fancying non-humans.
Yeah.
You heard.
There’s going to be alien folk in this list. It’s okay though. We’re not proper pervs because it’s only human women in costumes.
It’s not like fancying ET
…and the less said about that particular adult film the better… you’ve seen it too, right? Oh god, don’t go and search for it if not.
Seriously. Don’t.
Anyway, swiftly moving on, here’s our list of most smokin’ Star Wars babes. Start stroking your light sabres now.
Max Rebo Band Backing Dancers
Just imagine what these three gyrating knackpots could do for you after they’ve finished doing a turn for Max Rebo & Co. COR!
Queen Breha Antilles Organa
Regal women always get us hot under the collar. That’s why we flirt with Tories. They’re the dirtiest people on Earth. Christ knows how filthy an actual space queen is!
Oola
You remember Oola don’t you? She’s the one who works for Jabba and, if you’re well on the ball, you’ll know that one of her green boobies pops out of her costume in the film by accident. George Lucas has probably airbrushed that from history, but rest assured, you’ll be able to find it on the internet if you really want to see it.
Aayla Secura
She’s a Jedi fercryinoutloud. What more do you want?
Zam Wessell
Assassin shape-shifter (or something like that), Zam is good looking until you kill her. Then she turns into a horrible lizardy thing. What have we learned? Stay on her good side and don’t kill her.
Shaak Ti
Another Jedi Master. And look at her, all weird and smokin’ hot!
Another fit Jedi Master. Sadly, her beauty was killed by the evil swine in the Clone Wars. Shame.
These twins barely featured in the films, but were considered good-looking enough to appear on various promotional materials before Episode I came out. And yes, we fancy them even though they have weird ears and long fins of skin instead of a haircut.
Leia at number 2?! Heresy! Especially given that Chewbacca totally fancies her as well, as the picture shows. Listen, sure she’s mean-ass with a gun and totally got off with Han Solo (the coolest man who ever lived who wasn’t a Beatle), but she’s just not as hot as…
Dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble dribble…
BONUS ROUND:
We have no idea who Dorme Parricida is, but we found her picture on some Star Wars wiki and… well… we rather like her.
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joeshmoe says
Bonus girl is Amber Heard. She was in Pineapple Express.
Cookie Monster says
Once Lucas digitally inserts Kermit into the series, he will own this list. He is one sexy green bitch, that lithe little froggy.
Bonus girl says
Dorme is padme’s body double in episode 2