Posts tagged as:

Penis

Rihanna Farmer Gets Hate Mail But Will Probably End Up Naked Himself At Some Point

by Mof Gimmers

We’ve all seen rather a lot of Rihanna over the years and she’s increasingly keen to tell us all about her sex-life. Basically, she’s now sounding like one of those highly sexualised virgins you find taking self-shots on Tumblr. Ostensibly, she’s turning into one of those tiresome young people who can’t stop talking about vaguely [...]

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Julian Assange’s Penis Is Of No Interest To Anyone

by Kris Silver

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange probably knows all of your deepest and darkest secrets, but it seems like no one wants to know any of his as his new unauthorised autobiography has failed to set the literary world alight. Since being released last week “Julian Assange: The Unauthorarised Autobiography,” hasn’t managed to shift more than 1,000 [...]

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Chris Brown Collapses For Love And Manages To Not Punch Anyone [Video]

by Matthew Laidlow

When Chris Brown was at school, we imagine that he was the kid who tried his best to do everything right, but always screwed up. But, as everyone knows, Brown discovered a talent he excels at over most people. Team Breezy, aka Deluded Lovers of Chris Brown will claim it’s the size of his love [...]

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Rihanna Gets Boobs Out At God-Fearing Northern Irish Farmer

by Mof Gimmers

Northern Ireland is a strange bit of the world to visit. For starters, they call underpants ‘gonks’. Secondly, they still have a man sat in a broom cupboard introducing Coronation Street. He’s called Julian and we’re told he’s the only official homosexual in the North of Ireland. Apart from Julian, Niron had a brush with [...]

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Chris Brown Won’t Like The Levy Apology, But In Fairness, He Did Punch Rihanna Loads [video]

by Mof Gimmers

Chris ‘Slugger’ Brown. He’s a really famous guy isn’t he? He’s been welcomed back to the fold after he punched Rihanna so many times that she almost looked unattractive. Almost. You still would’ve, right? Anyway, ol’ good-with-his-hands Brown has mystifyingly been let-off for domestically abusing one-off all over RiRi’s face, which must provide great hope [...]

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Rihanna Gets With Someone Called ‘Love God’ For Obvious Reasons

by Mof Gimmers

After going out with Chris ‘Fists’ Brown, Rihanna has been looking out for someone to dominate her in the bedroom, but in a nice way. Not a Chris Brown way. She said she liked to be treated like a lady, but sometimes, she wants to err on the side of slap, rather than tickle. And [...]

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Rihanna Talks About Her Sex Life, Which Is Now Getting Quite Boring For Everyone

by Mof Gimmers

People talking about sex is rather dull isn’t it. There’s a widespread absence of imagination and titillation because we’ve all got access to it, constantly streaming from our computers. We don’t have to think anymore. It’s just… always there. And like those people who kid themselves that being into alt.smut is somehow better than trad.filth, [...]

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Rihanna Tries To Kill Everyone In Dallas As Stage Sets On Fire

by Mof Gimmers

Is everyone in Dallas a massive racist? They like the confederate flag over there, so they must be! Did they have lynchings as well? We’ve no idea. We don’t really like America. It’s a silly country with large portions and impossible dental work. We’re talking about the foibles of Dallas because we’re trying to work [...]

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Eminem Talks About Lady GaGa’s Penis Roughly Two Years After Everyone Else

by Mof Gimmers

Remember when Eminem was kinda vital to have around? He made records that didn’t rely on funk breaks and effectively spat out a mixture of awkward confessionals and comedy skits, rather than focusing on displays of wealth and success. Not that his albums were very good mind you. And then, of course, he went mental [...]

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Rihanna Sits On Toilet After Naked Photos Leaked Online

by Joanna Bolouri

For quite some time we’ve suspected that underneath Rihanna’s clothes, she is completely naked. We haven’t been able to prove it but we’ve been tossing and turning at night, well mainly tossing, deliberating over this issue and hoping one day we’d be in the position to shout from the rooftops of hecklerspray towers, ‘WE WERE [...]

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