Remember when Eminem was kinda vital to have around? He made records that didn’t rely on funk breaks and effectively spat out a mixture of awkward confessionals and comedy skits, rather than focusing on displays of wealth and success.
Not that his albums were very good mind you.
And then, of course, he went mental and got addicted to all manner of nonsense and sampled Haddaway, which is just preposterous. You can’t ‘keep it real’ while sampling tawdry Europop. What next? Marshall Mathers Versus London Boys? It would seem that Eminem is off the boil and no longer in the same vicinity as the pulse, let alone getting his finger on it. This is underlined by his snickering at Lady GaGa having a penis, which is now officially so old that it is being considered for inclusion in Christmas crackers.
So late is Mathers on this ‘GaGa Having A Dick’ thing, is that he’s already been beaten to the joke by GaGa herself, who not only joked that she was a hermaphrodite, but also that she wanted to play shows with a giant strap-on member.
That’s not stopping Eminem though as he’s even got a rap about it.
In new track, ‘A Kiss’, put out under his side-project Bad Meets Evil, he raps:
“Tell Lady Gaga she can quit her job at the post office/ She’s still a male lady.”
“Wouldn’t fuck her with her dick/ You heard it/ The verdict’s in.”
Hardly the bone-crunching lyrical wit that we saw in the uncomfortable stalker episode of ‘Stan’ or the glib asides of ‘Guess Who’s Back?’ Not that they were particularly good either, but still, they had something right?
Talking about his GaGa Penis, he says:
“I think Lady Gaga, as an artist you know, she’s undeniable. That was one of them things where sometimes I get a joke in my head and I kinda want to share it with the world, you know what I’m saying.”
“So it was just one of them things man, and it’s you know it’s all in fun, its hip-hop.”
Next week, Eminem writes a song called ‘Have You Seen These New Things Called Soda-Stream?’
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Simon R. Gladdish says
I heard the rumours about Lord Gaga a couple of years after everyone else too. I must say that she looks pretty feminine to me. However with lesbians being outed all over the internet as middle-aged male Americans, you can’t be too sure of anything these days!
matthew says
With a name like “Mof” life must indeed be hard for you.