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Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey Isn’t Bisexual, Not That Anyone Thought She Was In The First Place

by Mof Gimmers

When you think of Mariah Carey, what words flash across your stupid little brains? She’s mental? She’s completely divorced from the real world? She doesn’t half overcook the histrionics when a simple melody would do the trick? That you like her rack? Well, apparently, the entire world has been suggesting that she’s bisexual. That’s right. [...]

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HecklerPlay: What Will Be Christmas Number One?

by Matthew Laidlow

Alongside awkwardly snogging a work colleague during the works festive party, Christmas always throws up annual events that throw us off the true meaning of remembering a bloke nailed to a piece of wood. Forgetting to purchase a turkey means inferior processed lunch slices of the same meat are stapled to a chicken in a [...]

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Mariah Carey Definitely Has A Baby Growing Inside Her

by Mof Gimmers

New parents are the most unbearable shits on Earth. They chronicle every puke stain and pissy gusset for the world to hear about. Other parents encourage them by thrilling about baby faeces and the whole thing goes round and round in some disgusting, tedious, needy circle. So imagine, if you will, the prospect of Mariah [...]

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Mariah Carey Enrages A Vet

by Stuart Heritage

The first rule of being a celebrity is to surround yourself with hundreds and hundreds of berserk animals.

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Mariah Carey Definitely Pregnant, Unless She Isn’t

by Stuart Heritage

If you want to have a quick laugh, look at all the Mariah Carey headlines on Google News at the moment.

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Oscars 2010 Red Carpet: Copyright-Free Fashion Gallery

by Stuart Heritage

Fact: nobody watches the Oscars because they like films. They watch the Oscars because they like the dresses.

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Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

by Chris Laverty

Fun and slightly less so. Folded: BAFTA Best Film nod for The Hurt Locker (hopefully more people will see this excellent film now) Tax deadline (no, it’s not a good thing, but we’re putting it near the top so you don’t forget) Christina Hendricks at the Golden Globes (feminine, classy, ‘globes’ jokes appropriate) Free stuff [...]

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WEBTHUMP! 20 January 2010

by Stuart Heritage

10 – Killing The Cheeky Girls: The Motion Picture – Filmon 9 – A human child getting hauled around by a robot child. ‘Creepy’ doesn’t even come close – Geekologie 8 – Synthetic eyelids. Delicious – SlantedScience 7 – Since this is the internet, here are some videos of kids being better than you at [...]

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Mariah Carey To Launch New Champagne Line For Idiots

by Stuart Heritage

What’s Mariah Carey for? The way all her songs sound like the Star Trek theme tune as performed by a crying toddler?

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Stars To Keep An Eye On In 2010

by Josh Burt

Unsurprisingly, much of the new year press was crammed with new names to look out for during the next twelve months. Some of these journalists, we’re pretty sure, were just making names up for a joke. Well, the joke is on you, imaginary showbusiness journalist with your shiny hair, because guess what? We’re still obsessed with [...]

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